I shared last month about Caleb's first mama who gave him life. I explained how God had changed my heart, and how much I genuinely love her for providing us with the most precious gift!
Now, I get to talk about being Caleb's forever mama! A few people asked me before Caleb was born if I was concerned about being able to bond with him since I was going to miss out on carrying him for 9 months. Honestly, I didn't know what I was going to feel when I met Caleb for the first time. Of course I hoped and prayed that there would be an instant connection, but I just didn't know!
Let me tell you, when I held that boy for the fist time on Valentine's Day 2019, I became his mama. Period. I fell head over heels in love. Then at his two week checkup, the pediatrician, who has also adopted, told us that it will really feel more real after a month or so, and then we'd really start to bond. I was almost a little offended. All I could think was that it feels real NOW! I kind of brushed the comment off because I already felt like Caleb's mom.
Well...
This week Caleb is 5 weeks old, and there has been this very interesting shift. Not with me, but with him. I've been in love with that boy and felt like his mom since I met him, but this week, it has seemed like he knows me as his mom now. He started following us with his eyes recently, but this week he seems to follow our voice. We were at the police station a few nights ago showing him off, and a lady was holding him. I was talking, and the woman said, "Oh he knows his mama!" I stopped and looked, and Caleb had cut his eyes around to look at me. My heart! I asked Austin later if he thought Caleb knew us, and Austin said, "Well he knows you!" He explained that he had noticed a difference when he held him and when I held him, so I started paying attention. He was right! Caleb clearly recognizes his daddy. He is comforted when Austin is nearby. But he knows when Mama has him!
I don't say any of that to mean that Caleb likes me more than Austin. That's absolutely NOT TRUE! The thing is, when a baby is born, they recognize their mother by her scent. They just spent the last nine months with her, so they feel most secure in her arms. I knew this all along. When I held Caleb for the first time, I was just another person holding him. When the doctor reminded me of this at his two week checkup, it hurt my heart, but she was right! Caleb did not recognize me as his mama right away. Nor did he recognize Austin as his dad. I have felt at times like I'm at a disadvantage. It has felt like I'm in the dad's role meeting him at birth and starting to bond then. So I've worked hard! I talk and sing to Caleb. We snuggle. I read stories to him. I do absolutely everything in my power to show him that I'm his mama!
And he knows it! Just today Caleb was napping in his crib and started to fuss. I got the monitor and spoke through the microphone so he could hear it in his room. I said, "Caleb, it's mama. It's okay, buddy! It's time to sleep." I just kept repeating that. Did he go back to sleep? No. lol! But he did calm down! He went from flailing his arms around and whining to lying there as I spoke. We still had to go get him out of his crib, but as I watched his little body calm down as he heard my voice, I thought, "I'm his forever mama!" It warmed my heart more than I can ever explain.
Caleb knows his mama and his daddy. I asked Austin last night if I was doing a good job of turning Caleb into a mama's boy, and he said yes! My plan is working! haha! I stare at this baby boy, and I'm overwhelmed knowing the Lord chose us to be his forever parents!
Friday, March 22, 2019
Next Step: Post Placement Visits
Many assumed when we returned to Texas with Caleb that everything was done! Nope! We are still several months and quite a bit of money away from a finalized adoption!
The next step in the adoption process is post placement visits. We have to have 5 within 6 months, and we have already had one.
A post placement visit is super simple. More simple than I ever anticipated. The same social worker who conducted our home study visit back in November is handling these visits as well. The first one was on March 12th, and it lasted just under an hour. She came to our home, met Caleb, and asked basic questions to ensure we were taking good care of Caleb and that everything was going well. We also had to have an addendum to our home study in that visit since we moved to our new home recently, so she also looked around the house. It was still very easy, and the social worker was so laid back, down to earth, and sweet.
Four more to go!
I've been open about everything until now, so I'll continue because I'm still getting messages from people saying these posts are helping them in their process to adopt or decision to adopt! And at the end of the day, I believe more people need to know the process and need for infant adoption! With that being said, we've already paid A LOT of money for a home study, agency fees, and travel, and now we get to pay for post placement visits! Every agency ranges in cost, but Texas Adoption Center did our home study, so they are handling post placements as well. Each visit costs $350, and we have to have 5, which brings the total to $1,750. We also have to pay $300 for our home study addendum. This does not include the attorney fees we will have to pay in the next few months so we can finalize. (All of this on top of normal costs of having a new baby!) It's outrageous, and my heart breaks as I think about how many more people would adopt if the costs were reasonable. I have such a burning in my heart to do something. My wheels are turning, and I'm doing some research on how I can help others be able to adopt. Stay tuned!!
I really don't know when we will be able to finalize Caleb's adoption yet, but my guess is that it will be August or September. But I really don't know yet! Then we will finalize and be able to legally change Caleb's last name to Starkey and officially be is LEGAL mom and dad! It will be the most wonderful day, and we're going to have a big celebration!! I hope our village will plan to celebrate with us!
The next step in the adoption process is post placement visits. We have to have 5 within 6 months, and we have already had one.
A post placement visit is super simple. More simple than I ever anticipated. The same social worker who conducted our home study visit back in November is handling these visits as well. The first one was on March 12th, and it lasted just under an hour. She came to our home, met Caleb, and asked basic questions to ensure we were taking good care of Caleb and that everything was going well. We also had to have an addendum to our home study in that visit since we moved to our new home recently, so she also looked around the house. It was still very easy, and the social worker was so laid back, down to earth, and sweet.
Four more to go!
I've been open about everything until now, so I'll continue because I'm still getting messages from people saying these posts are helping them in their process to adopt or decision to adopt! And at the end of the day, I believe more people need to know the process and need for infant adoption! With that being said, we've already paid A LOT of money for a home study, agency fees, and travel, and now we get to pay for post placement visits! Every agency ranges in cost, but Texas Adoption Center did our home study, so they are handling post placements as well. Each visit costs $350, and we have to have 5, which brings the total to $1,750. We also have to pay $300 for our home study addendum. This does not include the attorney fees we will have to pay in the next few months so we can finalize. (All of this on top of normal costs of having a new baby!) It's outrageous, and my heart breaks as I think about how many more people would adopt if the costs were reasonable. I have such a burning in my heart to do something. My wheels are turning, and I'm doing some research on how I can help others be able to adopt. Stay tuned!!
I really don't know when we will be able to finalize Caleb's adoption yet, but my guess is that it will be August or September. But I really don't know yet! Then we will finalize and be able to legally change Caleb's last name to Starkey and officially be is LEGAL mom and dad! It will be the most wonderful day, and we're going to have a big celebration!! I hope our village will plan to celebrate with us!
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
Charlotte, North Carolina
I've shared about our hospital stay and all the emotions that came with meeting Caleb, and now I can share about the rest of our time in Charlotte!
We were discharged from the hospital on February 15th, and we headed back to Wyatt and Lauren's home. They were so excited to meet Caleb! We took him down to our little basement home and settled in!
The days were long. It was just me, Austin, Caleb, and my mom with not much to do! We had a tv downstairs, but it wasn't hooked up to tv. We conected a laptop to it to stream, but we could only stream Netflix and not Hulu for some reason. (And the nerd that I am, I had gotten used to binge watching Shark Tank on Hulu, so I was missing it! lol, I know I'm weird!) We watched A LOT of Friends, which never gets old for me, and we watched a few movies. My mom watched plenty of Andy Griffith and The Brady Bunch on her phone, and we looked for reasons to leave the house! We were BORED!
We'd get out occasionally to run to the store. I remember walking through a local grocery store with Austin while my mom kept Caleb at the house, and we were talking about needing to buy some more diapers soon. We had enough at the house to make it through probably a day or two more, so we were about to buy some. Austin stopped and said, "No. Let's wait that way we have a reason to get out another day." That's how bored we were!!
We tried to go upstairs to visit Wyatt and Lauren and let them love on Caleb as much as we could. They were so happy to have us, and they really enjoyed Caleb. I can still hear Wyatt saying, "Now he's a good looking boy! Really!" This couple is just the sweetest older couple ever, and they loved us and Caleb so well!
After a week in Charlotte with very long days, it was time for my mom to head back home. She had missed a week of school, and it was time for her to get back to her first graders. I was so disappointed, and I was also pretty nervous. We were about to be in another state with a newborn without my mama for the first time! I was nervous and fighting tears, but I knew she needed to go home. On Wednesday, February 20th, Austin drove my mom to the airport as I stayed at the house with Caleb crying for my mama! lol!
That night we knew we needed to get out of the house for awhile, so we found a Mexican restaurant down the road. Let me just say, North Carolina Mexican food is different than Tex Mex!! But it was still good! Austin also got a Roku from Target so we could stream Hulu! The next few days was spent watching Shark Tank, loving my baby, and praying to go home.
We had to wait for the legal clearance to leave the state with Caleb. We knew this was not going to be a quick process, but when you're actually living it, it's HARD! We were prepared for up to a two week stay, but when you have a newborn, all you want is your own bed, your family, and HOME! Wyatt and Lauren were so warm and welcoming to us! They never made us feel as if they were ready for us to go. They cooked dinner for us a few nights and genuinely loved their time with Caleb. However, no matter how nice the place is or how wonderful the people are, nothing beats home! We were really hoping and praying that we would be able to go home on Friday, the 22nd. We were tired. We had already spent quite a bit of money on groceries, a new car seat, fast food, and a Roku! lol Our hopes were WAY up for Friday!
Unfortunately Friday arrived, and we got the news that it wasn't happening. I cried and cried and cried! I had a bad headache from lack of caffeine because I rely on Big Red, and it isn't sold in NC. We were inching closer and closer to March, and we really needed to be out of the apartment by then to avoid paying any rent for that month. Since offices are closed on the weekend, we were now praying for the next Monday.
Lindsay was PRECIOUS and tracked down Big Red for me! It was at a Cracker Barrel just across the state line in South Carolina, just 15-20 minutes away. Caleb wasn't allowed to leave the state, so I stayed at the house in Charlotte, and Austin ran to SC for Big Red! It was a life saver! Then we spent the weekend watching more Shark Tank, Facetiming family, watching Abducted in Plain Sight (weird), and hoping for Monday.
On Sunday we went to Carmel Baptist Church. That's where Wyatt and Lauren and the pastor's wife, Christy, who set it all up for us go. We met Christy's husband, Alex, who is the lead pastor of the church, and the service was incredible! Christy introduced us to several people at the church, and everyone was so warm and welcoming. We also had the opportunity to learn a little bit about Carmel Baptist Church's adoption ministry, and my wheels started turning! So many ideas for the future!
Sunday afternoon we tried to clean up as much as possible because we were hoping and praying that we'd get to go home the next day!
Fast forward to Monday I felt like I was going crazy! Minutes felt like hours as we waited for word on whether or not we'd be cleared to go home.
That afternoon, I got a call from Lindsay!
The first call from Lindsay I ever got was telling me Caleb's first mama had chosen us.
The next call was telling us Caleb was on his way.
And on February 25th, she called to tell us to GO HOME!! It was an emotional and exciting moment, and before I was even off the phone with Lindsay, Austin was calling his dad about a flight!
Austin's dad was able to arrange our flight home, and we scrambled to get everything else packed and cleaned. We were closing the door to walk up the stairs of Wyatt and Lauren's home for the last time, and I got emotional! I was thrilled about going home, but I was going to miss this sweet couple so much! That basement was Caleb's first home, and we will cherish those memories forever! We got upstairs, and Austin and Wyatt took our luggage out to the rental car. I stayed in the living room with Lauren and fought so hard to hide my tears. Lauren held Caleb one more time, and a huge piece of my heart ached!
After the car was loaded, Wyatt and Lauren walked us out to the beautiful front porch. We stood there hugging and saying goodbyes, and my tears just streamed. I truly LOVE these people, and as I sit here typing this, I miss them tremendously! They opened their home to strangers and ended up becoming like family! It was time to go, and I cried for a good ten minutes as Austin drove to the airport. I was just so overwhelmed by the previous two weeks and all the hospitality Wyatt and Lauren showed us. They not only provided a place to stay, but they cooked for us, got to know us, laughed with us, and prayed for us! I really hope we can visit them again one day! The good news is that it's 2019 and technology allows us to stay in touch with ease!
We got to the airport and looked like crazies carrying a suitcase, car seat, duffel bag, multiple backpacks, a portable baby bed, and a newborn! We got through security and waited for our flight!
As we waited, a flight attendant noticed our village shirts with the hashtag on the back. (#AdoptingBabyStarkey) She told us she saw our shirts and congratulated us on the new baby and asked when he was born. She was really sweet. Later when it was almost time to land, she walked to our seats and handed me a card. It was PRECIOUS! She wrote a note to Caleb telling him she could see the joy on his parents' faces and encouraged him to travel the world as he grows, and she gave him his first set of wings! Another flight attendant stopped to talk to us and told us she has multiple adopted children and talked about what the Lord has done in her life. It was so wonderful to visit with these women! Everyone who meets sweet Caleb is touched by his precious life!
We landed in Dallas, and my parents were waiting for us! Pop got to meet his grandson finally, and it was such a sweet moment! We were HOME in TEXAS, and it was the best feeling!
No words can describe how our lives and hearts changed through our time in Charlotte. Obviously we became parents, but we saw God work through His people over and over again, and I can truly say I'm a better person because of this experience. It was so exhausting and incredibly emotional, but it was the best time of our lives, and I'm so thankful God led us there!
We were discharged from the hospital on February 15th, and we headed back to Wyatt and Lauren's home. They were so excited to meet Caleb! We took him down to our little basement home and settled in!
The days were long. It was just me, Austin, Caleb, and my mom with not much to do! We had a tv downstairs, but it wasn't hooked up to tv. We conected a laptop to it to stream, but we could only stream Netflix and not Hulu for some reason. (And the nerd that I am, I had gotten used to binge watching Shark Tank on Hulu, so I was missing it! lol, I know I'm weird!) We watched A LOT of Friends, which never gets old for me, and we watched a few movies. My mom watched plenty of Andy Griffith and The Brady Bunch on her phone, and we looked for reasons to leave the house! We were BORED!
We'd get out occasionally to run to the store. I remember walking through a local grocery store with Austin while my mom kept Caleb at the house, and we were talking about needing to buy some more diapers soon. We had enough at the house to make it through probably a day or two more, so we were about to buy some. Austin stopped and said, "No. Let's wait that way we have a reason to get out another day." That's how bored we were!!
We tried to go upstairs to visit Wyatt and Lauren and let them love on Caleb as much as we could. They were so happy to have us, and they really enjoyed Caleb. I can still hear Wyatt saying, "Now he's a good looking boy! Really!" This couple is just the sweetest older couple ever, and they loved us and Caleb so well!
After a week in Charlotte with very long days, it was time for my mom to head back home. She had missed a week of school, and it was time for her to get back to her first graders. I was so disappointed, and I was also pretty nervous. We were about to be in another state with a newborn without my mama for the first time! I was nervous and fighting tears, but I knew she needed to go home. On Wednesday, February 20th, Austin drove my mom to the airport as I stayed at the house with Caleb crying for my mama! lol!
That night we knew we needed to get out of the house for awhile, so we found a Mexican restaurant down the road. Let me just say, North Carolina Mexican food is different than Tex Mex!! But it was still good! Austin also got a Roku from Target so we could stream Hulu! The next few days was spent watching Shark Tank, loving my baby, and praying to go home.
We had to wait for the legal clearance to leave the state with Caleb. We knew this was not going to be a quick process, but when you're actually living it, it's HARD! We were prepared for up to a two week stay, but when you have a newborn, all you want is your own bed, your family, and HOME! Wyatt and Lauren were so warm and welcoming to us! They never made us feel as if they were ready for us to go. They cooked dinner for us a few nights and genuinely loved their time with Caleb. However, no matter how nice the place is or how wonderful the people are, nothing beats home! We were really hoping and praying that we would be able to go home on Friday, the 22nd. We were tired. We had already spent quite a bit of money on groceries, a new car seat, fast food, and a Roku! lol Our hopes were WAY up for Friday!
Unfortunately Friday arrived, and we got the news that it wasn't happening. I cried and cried and cried! I had a bad headache from lack of caffeine because I rely on Big Red, and it isn't sold in NC. We were inching closer and closer to March, and we really needed to be out of the apartment by then to avoid paying any rent for that month. Since offices are closed on the weekend, we were now praying for the next Monday.
Lindsay was PRECIOUS and tracked down Big Red for me! It was at a Cracker Barrel just across the state line in South Carolina, just 15-20 minutes away. Caleb wasn't allowed to leave the state, so I stayed at the house in Charlotte, and Austin ran to SC for Big Red! It was a life saver! Then we spent the weekend watching more Shark Tank, Facetiming family, watching Abducted in Plain Sight (weird), and hoping for Monday.
On Sunday we went to Carmel Baptist Church. That's where Wyatt and Lauren and the pastor's wife, Christy, who set it all up for us go. We met Christy's husband, Alex, who is the lead pastor of the church, and the service was incredible! Christy introduced us to several people at the church, and everyone was so warm and welcoming. We also had the opportunity to learn a little bit about Carmel Baptist Church's adoption ministry, and my wheels started turning! So many ideas for the future!
Sunday afternoon we tried to clean up as much as possible because we were hoping and praying that we'd get to go home the next day!
Fast forward to Monday I felt like I was going crazy! Minutes felt like hours as we waited for word on whether or not we'd be cleared to go home.
That afternoon, I got a call from Lindsay!
The first call from Lindsay I ever got was telling me Caleb's first mama had chosen us.
The next call was telling us Caleb was on his way.
And on February 25th, she called to tell us to GO HOME!! It was an emotional and exciting moment, and before I was even off the phone with Lindsay, Austin was calling his dad about a flight!
Austin's dad was able to arrange our flight home, and we scrambled to get everything else packed and cleaned. We were closing the door to walk up the stairs of Wyatt and Lauren's home for the last time, and I got emotional! I was thrilled about going home, but I was going to miss this sweet couple so much! That basement was Caleb's first home, and we will cherish those memories forever! We got upstairs, and Austin and Wyatt took our luggage out to the rental car. I stayed in the living room with Lauren and fought so hard to hide my tears. Lauren held Caleb one more time, and a huge piece of my heart ached!
After the car was loaded, Wyatt and Lauren walked us out to the beautiful front porch. We stood there hugging and saying goodbyes, and my tears just streamed. I truly LOVE these people, and as I sit here typing this, I miss them tremendously! They opened their home to strangers and ended up becoming like family! It was time to go, and I cried for a good ten minutes as Austin drove to the airport. I was just so overwhelmed by the previous two weeks and all the hospitality Wyatt and Lauren showed us. They not only provided a place to stay, but they cooked for us, got to know us, laughed with us, and prayed for us! I really hope we can visit them again one day! The good news is that it's 2019 and technology allows us to stay in touch with ease!
We got to the airport and looked like crazies carrying a suitcase, car seat, duffel bag, multiple backpacks, a portable baby bed, and a newborn! We got through security and waited for our flight!
As we waited, a flight attendant noticed our village shirts with the hashtag on the back. (#AdoptingBabyStarkey) She told us she saw our shirts and congratulated us on the new baby and asked when he was born. She was really sweet. Later when it was almost time to land, she walked to our seats and handed me a card. It was PRECIOUS! She wrote a note to Caleb telling him she could see the joy on his parents' faces and encouraged him to travel the world as he grows, and she gave him his first set of wings! Another flight attendant stopped to talk to us and told us she has multiple adopted children and talked about what the Lord has done in her life. It was so wonderful to visit with these women! Everyone who meets sweet Caleb is touched by his precious life!
We landed in Dallas, and my parents were waiting for us! Pop got to meet his grandson finally, and it was such a sweet moment! We were HOME in TEXAS, and it was the best feeling!
No words can describe how our lives and hearts changed through our time in Charlotte. Obviously we became parents, but we saw God work through His people over and over again, and I can truly say I'm a better person because of this experience. It was so exhausting and incredibly emotional, but it was the best time of our lives, and I'm so thankful God led us there!
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Holding Our Breath For 48 Hours
In my last post, I shared about the events from the call on 2/13 saying Caleb was on his way all the way through the moment we got to meet him on Valentine's Day! Here's how the rest of the hospital stay went!
We sat in the nursing closet for several hours loving on our sweet boy! My mom came in and got to love on him as well. We met Caleb's nurses and heard about what a sweet baby he had been in the nursery. We fed him, changed him, and snuggled him. We also facetimed as many family and friends as possible!
After several hours, they gave us the good news that they had a room for us and we could stay with Caleb that night! YAY!!! We went to the room and got somewhat settled. After a little while, Austin ordered pizza and then took my mom back to Wyatt and Lauren's home so she could sleep there that night. He also packed a bag for us to stay at the hospital.
Honestly, a lot of the time at the hospital felt like a blur! We were exhausted. We were trying to bond with our boy. Nurses and doctors kept coming in and checking on Caleb. It was crazy! (This part obviously is the same for anyone else with a new baby in the hospital! It's just rough! Wonderful, but rough!)
That evening, they took Caleb for his circumcision and routine tests. (Now that I'm typing that, I realize that's the time when Austin took my mom back...like I said, it's a blur!) I tried to take a nap while Caleb was gone, but I couldn't! Austin got back, and I was getting nervous. they told us Caleb would be gone for probably an hour to an hour and a half. Over three hours passed, and I was a wreck. All I could think about was if he was doing okay but also if something was happening that I didn't know about. Was his first mama changing her mind? Was a social worker about to walk in and tell us we would never see that sweet boy again because he was going home with his first mama? My mind was going crazy. I kept tearing up, and Austin tried so hard to calm my fears.
No words can describe the fear and worry that is felt when you know nothing is in your control. We spent all day falling in love with Baby Caleb, but we knew at any moment, everything could change. It's terrifying, and it's really easy for your mind to run wild.
But finally, the nurse wheeled our boy back in the room! Relief! That was when the nurse told us that Caleb's first mama had come to see him in the nursery. She said they didn't let her see him though. (Side note, that was a huge mistake on the hospital's part! At the end of the day, she was Caleb's one and only mama at the time, and she was kept from him.) I was very concerned because she had originally said she didn't want to see the baby at all, but now she was wanting to see him. I texted Lindsay, and she and Tanya checked on her. She simply wanted to see him. She wasn't changing her mind. She wanted a picture of her son, but the hospital was standing in her way. (It was shocking to me to find out that not all hospitals are pro adoption. Some nurses can be ugly to birth mothers. There was a serious lack of understanding at this hospital.)
After Lindsay reassured me that everything was still on track, I felt a lot better. Austin and I tried to get some sleep. We got a few hours, but not much at all!
The next morning, Austin went to pick up my mom, and they went to Target to buy a car seat. Yes, we forgot our car seat at home and realized it when unloaded my dad's truck at DFW, so we had to buy a new one!
They got back to the hospital, and the morning was full of nurses in and out. A nurse practitioner came in. And a photographer did some newborn photos. (We haven't been able to see them though because they apparently need a court order for adoptive parents to view the photos. Whatever! I'm just a little bitter about it! haha! I just wanted some newborn pictures of our boy!!!)
Lindsay arrived, and we finally met in person! Tanya and the attorney were meeting with Caleb's first mama at 12:30 for her to sign the final papers, where she would sign over her rights, which would be irrevocable. I was suddenly nervous again. I knew that in that moment, another woman was signing a paper that would terminate her rights to her son so that we could become his parents. It was heart wrenching and exciting all at once.
Then Lindsay got THE TEXT. It was done. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in over 48 hours! It felt like a literal weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and the tears flooded! It was a magical moment, and I'll never forget it!
A few minutes later, we met Caleb's first mama. Another incredibly heartbreaking moment that changed my heart and life forever! I shared more about that in another post, so I won't go into a lot of details here. I'll simply say, God is good. He completely changed my heart toward Caleb's precious first mama, and I can wholeheartedly say I adore that woman! Her heart for Caleb is unbelievable, and I'm so happy I can tell Caleb as he grows all about the immense love she has for him. We are already building a beautiful relationship, and it's better than I ever could have imagined!!
After we said our goodbyes to Caleb's first mama, we were discharged from the hospital. We were leaving the hospital with our beautiful boy! Finally!! A long NC stay was still ahead, but we got to spend the time with Caleb, so it was all okay!
I'll share about the rest of our stay in Charlotte within the next few days! I'll pause here for now! Pray for our boy! Pray for his first mama! And pray for the rest of our adoption journey! It's not over yet!
We sat in the nursing closet for several hours loving on our sweet boy! My mom came in and got to love on him as well. We met Caleb's nurses and heard about what a sweet baby he had been in the nursery. We fed him, changed him, and snuggled him. We also facetimed as many family and friends as possible!
After several hours, they gave us the good news that they had a room for us and we could stay with Caleb that night! YAY!!! We went to the room and got somewhat settled. After a little while, Austin ordered pizza and then took my mom back to Wyatt and Lauren's home so she could sleep there that night. He also packed a bag for us to stay at the hospital.
Honestly, a lot of the time at the hospital felt like a blur! We were exhausted. We were trying to bond with our boy. Nurses and doctors kept coming in and checking on Caleb. It was crazy! (This part obviously is the same for anyone else with a new baby in the hospital! It's just rough! Wonderful, but rough!)
That evening, they took Caleb for his circumcision and routine tests. (Now that I'm typing that, I realize that's the time when Austin took my mom back...like I said, it's a blur!) I tried to take a nap while Caleb was gone, but I couldn't! Austin got back, and I was getting nervous. they told us Caleb would be gone for probably an hour to an hour and a half. Over three hours passed, and I was a wreck. All I could think about was if he was doing okay but also if something was happening that I didn't know about. Was his first mama changing her mind? Was a social worker about to walk in and tell us we would never see that sweet boy again because he was going home with his first mama? My mind was going crazy. I kept tearing up, and Austin tried so hard to calm my fears.
No words can describe the fear and worry that is felt when you know nothing is in your control. We spent all day falling in love with Baby Caleb, but we knew at any moment, everything could change. It's terrifying, and it's really easy for your mind to run wild.
But finally, the nurse wheeled our boy back in the room! Relief! That was when the nurse told us that Caleb's first mama had come to see him in the nursery. She said they didn't let her see him though. (Side note, that was a huge mistake on the hospital's part! At the end of the day, she was Caleb's one and only mama at the time, and she was kept from him.) I was very concerned because she had originally said she didn't want to see the baby at all, but now she was wanting to see him. I texted Lindsay, and she and Tanya checked on her. She simply wanted to see him. She wasn't changing her mind. She wanted a picture of her son, but the hospital was standing in her way. (It was shocking to me to find out that not all hospitals are pro adoption. Some nurses can be ugly to birth mothers. There was a serious lack of understanding at this hospital.)
After Lindsay reassured me that everything was still on track, I felt a lot better. Austin and I tried to get some sleep. We got a few hours, but not much at all!
The next morning, Austin went to pick up my mom, and they went to Target to buy a car seat. Yes, we forgot our car seat at home and realized it when unloaded my dad's truck at DFW, so we had to buy a new one!
They got back to the hospital, and the morning was full of nurses in and out. A nurse practitioner came in. And a photographer did some newborn photos. (We haven't been able to see them though because they apparently need a court order for adoptive parents to view the photos. Whatever! I'm just a little bitter about it! haha! I just wanted some newborn pictures of our boy!!!)
Lindsay arrived, and we finally met in person! Tanya and the attorney were meeting with Caleb's first mama at 12:30 for her to sign the final papers, where she would sign over her rights, which would be irrevocable. I was suddenly nervous again. I knew that in that moment, another woman was signing a paper that would terminate her rights to her son so that we could become his parents. It was heart wrenching and exciting all at once.
Then Lindsay got THE TEXT. It was done. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in over 48 hours! It felt like a literal weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and the tears flooded! It was a magical moment, and I'll never forget it!
A few minutes later, we met Caleb's first mama. Another incredibly heartbreaking moment that changed my heart and life forever! I shared more about that in another post, so I won't go into a lot of details here. I'll simply say, God is good. He completely changed my heart toward Caleb's precious first mama, and I can wholeheartedly say I adore that woman! Her heart for Caleb is unbelievable, and I'm so happy I can tell Caleb as he grows all about the immense love she has for him. We are already building a beautiful relationship, and it's better than I ever could have imagined!!
After we said our goodbyes to Caleb's first mama, we were discharged from the hospital. We were leaving the hospital with our beautiful boy! Finally!! A long NC stay was still ahead, but we got to spend the time with Caleb, so it was all okay!
I'll share about the rest of our stay in Charlotte within the next few days! I'll pause here for now! Pray for our boy! Pray for his first mama! And pray for the rest of our adoption journey! It's not over yet!
February 13th & 14th!
So life with a newborn is BUSY! Life with a newborn while moving and trying to get settled is CRAZY!
So now that Caleb is almost a month old, I'm finally sitting down to write about the wonderful experience we had in North Carolina. (Side note, I literally just now took my laptop out of my suitcase from the trip. Yeah, that's how my life has been! ha!)
Wednesday, February 13, 2019
I woke up around 5:15 am. This doesn't happen! I have a series of alarms that start at 6:15 each day for work, and I do not wake up a minute sooner. However, that morning, I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. I was frustrated because I wanted to get an hour more sleep, but it wasn't happening, so I started thinking about Caleb. I began to cry quietly in bed, and I prayed. I begged God to PLEASE let him come today! For a solid hour! I cried and prayed.
Then...sometime between 6:20 and 6:25, my phone started ringing. Austin was asleep. He was off work, but he had been working the night shift, so he had stayed up til past 4 am. I looked at my phone and saw Lindsay's name. She's from the agency, and my heart stopped! I knew instantly why she was calling. I answered, and Lindsay told me Caleb was on his way. I don't remember her exact words, but I do remember her saying, "Make your travel plans."
I sat up in bed and hit Austin awake! "The baby's coming!" He was completely delirious, and it took several minutes for it to sink in. We began making calls!
10:00 am
Austin's dad was able to book a flight for us, and my parents arrived at our apartment at 10 to pick us up! To this point, I hadn't shed a single tear! I was too busy and excited! My dad drove us to the airport, and thankfully my mom went with us!
11:15(ish)
We were standing at the counter at DFW checking bags. Lindsay was texting me keeping me updated, and then I got a call from a Charlotte number. (I shared about this moment in another post.) It was Caleb's first mama on the phone telling me she had the baby, and he would be waiting for us in the nursery. I heard my boy crying in the background, and my heart melted! Caleb was here and doing well!
1:00-2:00 pm
Our flight was supposed to take off at 1:06 pm, but it was delayed. There was a fire at air traffic control, and all flights were delayed. I don't remember the exact time we finally took off.
5:00-6:00 pm (NC time)
I don't remember the exact time we landed, but I was THRILLED when that plane finally touched down. I turned my phone on, and I got a text from Lindsay saying we wouldn't be able to go to the hospital that night. Tears filled my eyes, and I didn't know what to think. I was so upset and disappointed. Lindsay called me a little later while we were still in the Charlotte airport. (Actually I was in a bathroom stall at the airport when she called, but I had to answer! lol) She explained that everything was okay, but it was all a matter of hospital policies and legal paperwork. She told us to meet at the hospital at 9:30 the next morning.
7:45 pm
After stopping to eat dinner at McDonald's, we met Christy, the pastor wife I wrote about in an earlier post, met us at the home where we would be staying. I met her and felt like I'd known her forever! She introduced us to Wyatt and Lauren, the precious couple who was opening their home to us! We went down to the basement where we would stay, and we were in complete shock! It was unbelievable! A huge living room, two massive bedrooms with king size beds, 1 full bathroom, 1 half bathroom, a full kitchen stocked with snacks and drinks, a game room with a pool table, and a private entry overlooking a gorgeous pond! We had privacy and plenty of space, and Wyatt and Lauren made us feel at home! As I sit here writing and thinking back to that basement, I'm still in awe! God is so good!
We settled in and tried to get some sleep!
Thursday, February 14, 2019
VALENTINE'S DAY!
We woke up and ran to Walmart to make a gift basket for Caleb's first mama. Then we headed to the hospital. Around 9:15(ish) we pulled into the hospital's parking garage. All morning, I was just excited! No nerves, but when we pulled into the garage, I got a pit in my stomach. Nervous was an understatement!
9:30 am
We made our way to the maternity waiting room, and I texted the adoption worker, Tanya, to let her know where we were. Tanya arrived, and we met in person for the first time. She gave us big hugs and told us she was going to meet with Caleb's first mama and the adoption attorney to go over some paperwork and then she'd be back for us. I sat back down in the waiting room between Austin and my mom. I seriously can't put my feelings into words. I was forcing back tears. I was filled with butterflies, and I honestly thought I was going to throw up. I just kept thinking about what a HUGE moment this was. I was suddenly nervous that she would change her mind. I kept thinking about what she must have been going through. I wondered what Caleb looked like. My mind was spinning. Austin held my hand and could see how nervous I was!
Finally Tanya and the attorney returned. The attorney introduced herself and hugged us, and they all made us feel so much better. They led us to a table down the hall where we sat and went over the adoption paperwork. There was tons to sign and initial. We learned more about Caleb's race and background during this quick visit. This is also when the attorney told us that Caleb's first mama seemed extremely confident in her decision, and my nerves calmed a bit.
11:15(ish) am
We finished up signing papers, and a social worker from the hospital led us to a little nursing closet. My mom stayed in the waiting room as we went back. Inside the closet, there was a bench and two chairs and a couple of little end tables. We sat on the bench, and the attorney, her paralegal, and Tanya gathered in with us. I asked them all to capture photos and videos, so they were prepared. I was shaking.
Then....
The door opened, and a nurse slowly wheeled in a hospital bassinet. Inside was a tiny, beautiful baby boy with a head full of dark hair. I sat there watching him get closer to me and watching the rest of the world melt away as time seemed to stand still! I stood up and couldn't believe my eyes! The nurse asked, "Do you want to hold him?" YES!
I held my sweet baby boy and fell apart in a wonderful way! I sobbed and silently praised God! It was happening! I was holding my son!
Austin and I both held Caleb and rejoiced! Our hearts just exploded! In that moment, our lives changed! It was the best day of our lives, and it was the best Valentine's Day in this history of Valentine's Day!
God is so faithful, and He is so good! I stay amazed by Him!
There is so much story to tell, but I don't want this post to get too terribly long. As soon as I post this, I'll begin writing the next part of the story! We were in the hospital for 24 more hours, and then we were in Charlotte for another week and a half! So much to tell! More coming ASAP!
Thank you so much to our village! Yes, there's more to tell about Charlotte, but our adoption journey won't be over for awhile! We pray others will continue to follow this sweet boy's story because the adoption won't be finalized for several more months! The hardest part is over, but there's still more to come! Thank you for prayers! Keep them coming!!
So now that Caleb is almost a month old, I'm finally sitting down to write about the wonderful experience we had in North Carolina. (Side note, I literally just now took my laptop out of my suitcase from the trip. Yeah, that's how my life has been! ha!)
Wednesday, February 13, 2019
I woke up around 5:15 am. This doesn't happen! I have a series of alarms that start at 6:15 each day for work, and I do not wake up a minute sooner. However, that morning, I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. I was frustrated because I wanted to get an hour more sleep, but it wasn't happening, so I started thinking about Caleb. I began to cry quietly in bed, and I prayed. I begged God to PLEASE let him come today! For a solid hour! I cried and prayed.
Then...sometime between 6:20 and 6:25, my phone started ringing. Austin was asleep. He was off work, but he had been working the night shift, so he had stayed up til past 4 am. I looked at my phone and saw Lindsay's name. She's from the agency, and my heart stopped! I knew instantly why she was calling. I answered, and Lindsay told me Caleb was on his way. I don't remember her exact words, but I do remember her saying, "Make your travel plans."
I sat up in bed and hit Austin awake! "The baby's coming!" He was completely delirious, and it took several minutes for it to sink in. We began making calls!
10:00 am
Austin's dad was able to book a flight for us, and my parents arrived at our apartment at 10 to pick us up! To this point, I hadn't shed a single tear! I was too busy and excited! My dad drove us to the airport, and thankfully my mom went with us!
11:15(ish)
We were standing at the counter at DFW checking bags. Lindsay was texting me keeping me updated, and then I got a call from a Charlotte number. (I shared about this moment in another post.) It was Caleb's first mama on the phone telling me she had the baby, and he would be waiting for us in the nursery. I heard my boy crying in the background, and my heart melted! Caleb was here and doing well!
1:00-2:00 pm
Our flight was supposed to take off at 1:06 pm, but it was delayed. There was a fire at air traffic control, and all flights were delayed. I don't remember the exact time we finally took off.
5:00-6:00 pm (NC time)
I don't remember the exact time we landed, but I was THRILLED when that plane finally touched down. I turned my phone on, and I got a text from Lindsay saying we wouldn't be able to go to the hospital that night. Tears filled my eyes, and I didn't know what to think. I was so upset and disappointed. Lindsay called me a little later while we were still in the Charlotte airport. (Actually I was in a bathroom stall at the airport when she called, but I had to answer! lol) She explained that everything was okay, but it was all a matter of hospital policies and legal paperwork. She told us to meet at the hospital at 9:30 the next morning.
7:45 pm
After stopping to eat dinner at McDonald's, we met Christy, the pastor wife I wrote about in an earlier post, met us at the home where we would be staying. I met her and felt like I'd known her forever! She introduced us to Wyatt and Lauren, the precious couple who was opening their home to us! We went down to the basement where we would stay, and we were in complete shock! It was unbelievable! A huge living room, two massive bedrooms with king size beds, 1 full bathroom, 1 half bathroom, a full kitchen stocked with snacks and drinks, a game room with a pool table, and a private entry overlooking a gorgeous pond! We had privacy and plenty of space, and Wyatt and Lauren made us feel at home! As I sit here writing and thinking back to that basement, I'm still in awe! God is so good!
We settled in and tried to get some sleep!
Thursday, February 14, 2019
VALENTINE'S DAY!
We woke up and ran to Walmart to make a gift basket for Caleb's first mama. Then we headed to the hospital. Around 9:15(ish) we pulled into the hospital's parking garage. All morning, I was just excited! No nerves, but when we pulled into the garage, I got a pit in my stomach. Nervous was an understatement!
9:30 am
We made our way to the maternity waiting room, and I texted the adoption worker, Tanya, to let her know where we were. Tanya arrived, and we met in person for the first time. She gave us big hugs and told us she was going to meet with Caleb's first mama and the adoption attorney to go over some paperwork and then she'd be back for us. I sat back down in the waiting room between Austin and my mom. I seriously can't put my feelings into words. I was forcing back tears. I was filled with butterflies, and I honestly thought I was going to throw up. I just kept thinking about what a HUGE moment this was. I was suddenly nervous that she would change her mind. I kept thinking about what she must have been going through. I wondered what Caleb looked like. My mind was spinning. Austin held my hand and could see how nervous I was!
Finally Tanya and the attorney returned. The attorney introduced herself and hugged us, and they all made us feel so much better. They led us to a table down the hall where we sat and went over the adoption paperwork. There was tons to sign and initial. We learned more about Caleb's race and background during this quick visit. This is also when the attorney told us that Caleb's first mama seemed extremely confident in her decision, and my nerves calmed a bit.
11:15(ish) am
We finished up signing papers, and a social worker from the hospital led us to a little nursing closet. My mom stayed in the waiting room as we went back. Inside the closet, there was a bench and two chairs and a couple of little end tables. We sat on the bench, and the attorney, her paralegal, and Tanya gathered in with us. I asked them all to capture photos and videos, so they were prepared. I was shaking.
Then....
The door opened, and a nurse slowly wheeled in a hospital bassinet. Inside was a tiny, beautiful baby boy with a head full of dark hair. I sat there watching him get closer to me and watching the rest of the world melt away as time seemed to stand still! I stood up and couldn't believe my eyes! The nurse asked, "Do you want to hold him?" YES!
I held my sweet baby boy and fell apart in a wonderful way! I sobbed and silently praised God! It was happening! I was holding my son!
Austin and I both held Caleb and rejoiced! Our hearts just exploded! In that moment, our lives changed! It was the best day of our lives, and it was the best Valentine's Day in this history of Valentine's Day!
God is so faithful, and He is so good! I stay amazed by Him!
There is so much story to tell, but I don't want this post to get too terribly long. As soon as I post this, I'll begin writing the next part of the story! We were in the hospital for 24 more hours, and then we were in Charlotte for another week and a half! So much to tell! More coming ASAP!
Thank you so much to our village! Yes, there's more to tell about Charlotte, but our adoption journey won't be over for awhile! We pray others will continue to follow this sweet boy's story because the adoption won't be finalized for several more months! The hardest part is over, but there's still more to come! Thank you for prayers! Keep them coming!!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)