I shared last month about Caleb's first mama who gave him life. I explained how God had changed my heart, and how much I genuinely love her for providing us with the most precious gift!
Now, I get to talk about being Caleb's forever mama! A few people asked me before Caleb was born if I was concerned about being able to bond with him since I was going to miss out on carrying him for 9 months. Honestly, I didn't know what I was going to feel when I met Caleb for the first time. Of course I hoped and prayed that there would be an instant connection, but I just didn't know!
Let me tell you, when I held that boy for the fist time on Valentine's Day 2019, I became his mama. Period. I fell head over heels in love. Then at his two week checkup, the pediatrician, who has also adopted, told us that it will really feel more real after a month or so, and then we'd really start to bond. I was almost a little offended. All I could think was that it feels real NOW! I kind of brushed the comment off because I already felt like Caleb's mom.
Well...
This week Caleb is 5 weeks old, and there has been this very interesting shift. Not with me, but with him. I've been in love with that boy and felt like his mom since I met him, but this week, it has seemed like he knows me as his mom now. He started following us with his eyes recently, but this week he seems to follow our voice. We were at the police station a few nights ago showing him off, and a lady was holding him. I was talking, and the woman said, "Oh he knows his mama!" I stopped and looked, and Caleb had cut his eyes around to look at me. My heart! I asked Austin later if he thought Caleb knew us, and Austin said, "Well he knows you!" He explained that he had noticed a difference when he held him and when I held him, so I started paying attention. He was right! Caleb clearly recognizes his daddy. He is comforted when Austin is nearby. But he knows when Mama has him!
I don't say any of that to mean that Caleb likes me more than Austin. That's absolutely NOT TRUE! The thing is, when a baby is born, they recognize their mother by her scent. They just spent the last nine months with her, so they feel most secure in her arms. I knew this all along. When I held Caleb for the first time, I was just another person holding him. When the doctor reminded me of this at his two week checkup, it hurt my heart, but she was right! Caleb did not recognize me as his mama right away. Nor did he recognize Austin as his dad. I have felt at times like I'm at a disadvantage. It has felt like I'm in the dad's role meeting him at birth and starting to bond then. So I've worked hard! I talk and sing to Caleb. We snuggle. I read stories to him. I do absolutely everything in my power to show him that I'm his mama!
And he knows it! Just today Caleb was napping in his crib and started to fuss. I got the monitor and spoke through the microphone so he could hear it in his room. I said, "Caleb, it's mama. It's okay, buddy! It's time to sleep." I just kept repeating that. Did he go back to sleep? No. lol! But he did calm down! He went from flailing his arms around and whining to lying there as I spoke. We still had to go get him out of his crib, but as I watched his little body calm down as he heard my voice, I thought, "I'm his forever mama!" It warmed my heart more than I can ever explain.
Caleb knows his mama and his daddy. I asked Austin last night if I was doing a good job of turning Caleb into a mama's boy, and he said yes! My plan is working! haha! I stare at this baby boy, and I'm overwhelmed knowing the Lord chose us to be his forever parents!
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