We have reached an incredibly overwhelming stage of this adoption process. It's so overwhelming, in fact, that I considered keeping this part private. However, I have had numerous people recently who have told me that they are so grateful for how open I have been about everything because they have been considering adoption and this has helped them to understand the process.
So...here it is.
We got an email on Saturday night, December 22nd, with our first birth mother profile to review. I will not go into any details about this woman, but I'll just explain process!
We received the email with the birth mother profile. The adoption specialist said we could review the information and let her know if we would like to be presented to that birth mother. We needed to act quickly.
In this profile, we were completely shocked by just how much information we were able to learn about this woman. (This was our first profile to view, so it was new for us!) We learned her first name, race, medical background, brief family history, her reason for choosing adoption, her picture, and quite a bit more info. It was VERY helpful for us. We also learned as much as the agency knew about the birth father.
Before we could even finish discussing the profile, we got ANOTHER profile! Within a matter of minutes, we had TWO expectant women to learn about very quickly!
We read each profile and decided we would like to be presented to both! I emailed the adoption specialist back and told her, and she sent our profile to each of the women. They would have a few days to look through a few different families' profiles and choose one to adopt their babies.
Then...WE WAITED!
Oh, the wait! That was the 22nd. I knew it would take a few days, and the adoption specialist said Christmas would mean it could take even longer, but even knowing it would be a few days, those two women and those two babies are ALL I have been thinking about!
Today, December 26th, we got an email that the first woman chose a different family.
I'm not going to lie, my hopes were up! I was disappointed when I read that email. Not crushed. Not devastated. Just disappointed. I did tear up. I told Austin it was the exact same feeling as seeing a negative pregnancy test. It's a hard feeling. It's VERY easy to jump to, "Why not us? I wonder what they saw in another couple that they didn't see in us." Ugh! I hate that! This was the FIRST birth mother! We have been told to basically expect the unexpected. It could be tomorrow, or it could be 6 months from now! But reading those words that the birth mother chose a different family stings a little! However, after I had my little pity party for myself, I was reminded that this was not our baby. God designed that sweet baby for another family. Who knows how long that family had been waiting for that wonderful news! Maybe a week, or maybe a year! All I do know is that there is a family celebrating right now, and in April they will bring their missing piece home!
The other thing I know is that our missing piece is still out there! We are still waiting to hear back from the second birth mother from this weekend. The adoption specialist said she has another profile that will go out this week sometime. Our time is coming! Our baby is coming! The waiting is really hard! I stare at my phone. I check my email about 50 times a day. I try to keep my phone on loud, and when I can't, it's on vibrate. It's rough! However, these first two profiles have given us immense hope! We understand this stage of the process so much better now! We are comforted in knowing that we will learn a crazy amount of information about each birth mother, which will help us to make wise decisions. It's a very difficult phase, but it's a really great phase as well. We get to specifically pray for expectant mothers by name with a picture of them in our minds. THAT is really amazing! Each woman who comes across our email will be smothered in prayer, and so will their baby, whether they choose us or not!
You can join us in prayer!
1. Pray for the birth mothers. They are making HUGE and SELFLESS decisions. Pray that God comforts them and gives them guidance.
2. Pray for those babies! We are seeing REAL women now who are carrying REAL babies. This is no longer a hypothetical situation. Pray for their little lives!
3. Pray for us! I just THOUGHT this journey was an emotional roller coaster. Ha! That was before I saw the names, faces, and background stories of the women involved. This is so hard! The waiting. The hoping. The unknowns. The desperate praying. It's draining, and it has only just begun!
**I do not plan to share a post every time we receive a profile or a no. However, I do want others who are considering adoption to learn through our experience. I also want our many supporters and prayer warriors to know what's going on. I'll share what I feel is appropriate to share!
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Friday, December 21, 2018
The Story of Hannah
The story of Hannah praying for Samuel has been my favorite Bible story since I was a little girl. I can remember my grandpa asking me what my favorite story was when I was so young. I probably couldn't even read yet, but I answered the story of Hannah was my favorite. I have always loved it! Then a few years ago, I was working as the Bible study coordinator at Daniel Springs Baptist Camp with one of my all time favorite people who was my youth pastor in middle and high school, Jason Prewitt. One of the Bible studies was about Hannah that summer, and when Jason asked me which lesson I would like to teach to the adults at camp, I instantly said Hannah! This story clearly impacted me from a young age, but I was able to learn so much more from Hannah's example and faithfulness as an adult.
Allow me to give you a very quick summary of Hannah's story.
1. Hannah was married to Elkanah, but she was barren.
2. Hannah wanted a son desperately, so she fervently prayed to God and begged Him for a son and promised to give the child back to God.
3. God gave Hannah a son, and she named him Samuel.
4. Hannah gave Samuel back to God when he was still a child and left him at the house of the Lord.
Now that you've been reminded of the basics of the story, here are some of my takeaways. I have read this story MANY times. There's no telling, but it's definitely the passage I've read the most, but every single time I read it, God reveals something new to me! (Because God's just good like that!)
Hannah's Barrenness
Here's the thing I didn't mention in my summary. Hannah's husband had another wife, Peninnah, who had children. Hannah knew she could not have children, and she struggled with this. She wanted a child so badly. Not only did she struggle with infertility, but her husband's other wife had plenty of children. And not only did Peninnah have multiple kids, but my version of the Bible said she "provoked" Hannah. In other words, Peninnah was awful. She knew Hannah couldn't conceive, and she took every chance she got to brag about how many children she had. So Hannah is already so upset because she can't have a child, but there's added heartbreak because ANOTHER WOMAN is providing HER HUSBAND with children! Giving her husband what she cannot. And then bragging about it. (Seriously, I can't stand Peninnah!) Here's the amazing part, though! Elkanah, the husband, loved HANNAH MORE! 1 Samuel 1:5 says so! (Take that, Peninnah!) Hannah wept because she wanted a baby so badly, and Elkanah asked her, "Am I not better to you than 10 sons?" Poor Elkanah, he just didn't get it!
Infertility is so hard. I have not actually been diagnosed with fertility problems. I'm not prepared for that. Maybe one day, we'll seek testing and treatment, but for now focusing on adoption is all I want! So while I have no medical diagnosis, all I know is I'm not pregnant. I do understand Hannah's desire for a child. I do understand what it's like to hope and pray month after month for a second pink line on a plastic stick. (I mean, I know Hannah didn't have pregnancy tests, but you get the point.) I understand Hannah's heart.
Now, thankfully in modern day, it's illegal to have more than one spouse, so I cannot relate to her husband's other wife having loads of kids and bragging nonstop. What I CAN relate to is watching friends and family make pregnancy announcements and having to force a smile and a congratulations while doing my best to force back the tears. Oh, I understand. I understand the why not me moments and the why them moments. I understand holding a loved one's newborn and telling them how happy you are for them but staring at that baby just wondering when it will ever happen for you. It makes you feel terrible. You're genuinely happy for those having babies, but the jealousy is REAL. And it can be an ugly thing.
As far as Elkanah asking Hannah if he's enough for her...oh Elkanah. It's not a matter of enough or better than 10 sons. It's a matter of a desire deep within Hannah's heart to be a mother. I have not had this happen with Austin. He has never said anything like this. In fact, I asked him the other day if we had decided to pursue fertility testing and treatments instead of adoption and were told it was never going to happen for us, would he have been okay with it just being the two of us forever. He said, "I think I would have suggested adoption." I didn't take his answer as saying, "You're not enough for me." I took it as my husband has the same deep desire to be a parent as I do. When the Lord has embedded something within you, I believe He will fulfill it one way or another. For Elkanah, he already had children with Peninnah. I know he would have loved to have children with Hannah too, but he had what Hannah wanted already. He just didn't understand.
Hannah's Prayer Life
Listen, I know I've already spoiled the ending by telling you that Hannah does end up having a son, which is obviously an amazing miracle, but Hannah's prayer at the taberncale NEEDS to be noted! It's one of my favorite parts of the story! 1 Samuel 1:10 says, "And she was in bitterness of soul and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish." A few verses later, it says that Hannah was not praying aloud, but her lips were moving, and she was sobbing. The priest, Eli, saw her and thought she was DRUNK! She explained to Eli that she had not been drinking, but that she "poured out her soul before the Lord." Then when she left, the Bible says her face was no longer sad.
There's just so much here. First of all, I don't know that I've ever prayed in a manner that caused anyone to think I was drunk! Yes, I have prayed through sobs to God, but I think Hannah was praying on a whole different level. She was in bitterness of soul and prayed and wept in anguish. She held NOTHING back. I believe she was praying BOLDLY. She begged God for a son and promised to give him back all the days of his life. She was not trying to bargain with God. She wasn't saying, "If you do this, I'll do this." She was telling God that the reason she wanted a son was to raise him for the Lord. Her entire purpose for wanting to become a mother was to bring honor and glory to God. Her heart was pure, and she spoke to God passionately. She did not whine to God and ask, "Why can't I have a baby?" (Which I have totally done. Many times.) I believe the reason she was praying so fervently was because she understood WHO she was praying to. She understand that God is able. She understood that God COULD make it happen. It wasn't a wish. It was fact. God could (and can) make a barren woman conceive a child. God can handle our deepest emotions, desires, disappointments, anger...HE CAN HANDLE IT! And Hannah knew that.
Hannah's Miracle
She had a baby! She prayed and believed that God would fulfill the desire which He had placed in her heart, and she had a baby boy. She named him Samuel, "Because I have asked for him from the Lord." I just can't imagine her excitement, happiness, and joy when she found out she was expecting. I wish I could have seen the look on her face when she held Samuel for the first time!
Here's the thing. Hannah's miracle does not happen for everyone. There are people who long to be parents. They pray and pray and try and try and go through treatment after treatment. Thousands of dollars are spent. Countless pregnancy tests. And it never happens. Does this mean they're praying wrong or that God loves them less or that God is not as faithful. NO. Absolutely not. It's hard to understand why God allows some to have biological children on their own with ease, while some must undergo treatments and years of waiting and hoping before finally conceiving, and then others try and try and try but never have biological children. I don't know why. All I can do is believe that God is good, and He is sovereign above all things. I know some people were meant to become parents through foster and/or adoption. Some are meant to be like parents to nieces, nephews, friends' children, church children, school children, etc. I believe that God will provide a peace that passes all understanding if we trust in Him.
Hannah's Faithfulness and Praise
Hannah made a vow to God that she would give her son back to him, and she meant it. So when Samuel was still very young, and she was finished nursing him, she took him back to the house of the Lord. She saw good old Eli who previously thought she had been drunk while praying, and she told Eli who she was. This is where a very well known verse comes from. She told Eli, "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him." Then she told Eli she was giving Samuel back to God. She prayed again, but this time it wasn't out of anguish and bitterness. It was out of thankfulness and praise to God! Then they left, but Samuel stayed with Eli, where he learned from Eli and ministered there.
Okay, Hannah sounds crazy. She prayed and prayed and prayed for a son. She had the son. And she gave the son away. Confusing? It could be. But this brings me back to my point earlier. Her entire purpose for wanting to become a mother was to bring honor and glory to God. She desperately wanted Samuel FOR THIS REASON! She didn't dream of taking Samuel to tee-ball practice, reading him bedtime stories, and all the baby snuggles. She dreamed of having a child who would grow up to honor the Lord. That's it. Period. So when he was old enough, she kept her vow. Hannah would come and visit Samuel, but she didn't view Samuel as hers, but as God's.
So, I do dream of tee-ball practice, bedtime stories, and snuggles. However, I also dream of teaching our child Bible stories, praying with him or her, sobbing when he/she accepts Jesus as their Savior, and sending our child on church mission trips. I want to be the mom who goes to sporting events, has movie nights, and makes tons of memories, but I also want to be the mom who leads her children to the Lord. I love Hannah's example!
Samuel
Samuel grows up to be a great man of God. He becomes a prophet and a judge, and he was one of the most obedient and faithful of the The Old Testament, and it all started with his mother's bold prayers and faithful heart. Hannah intended to have a son who would serve God, and that's exactly what happened. See, GOD HAS A PLAN ALWAYS! It may not make sense at the time, but our lives are puzzle pieces part of God's greater picture, and He will complete them in His timing and will.
Hannah's story is so powerful. It can be used as a lesson on prayer, faithfulness, and obedience. Hannah is so relatable. From that nasty Peninnah to her husband who loved her but just didn't understand to her honest and passionate prayer...I'm just a Hannah fan. I have prayed countless prayers begging God to PLEASE give us a baby. Shortly after we decided to pursue adoption, I realized my prayers had not been for pregnancy, but for a baby. God meant for us to adopt our whole lives. We just didn't know! We thought our family would begin through a biological child, but it won't. And as I mentioned before, God truly does provide a peace that passes all understanding when you choose to trust Him alone. Do I hope to one day have a biological child? Yes! Very much so! Am I beyond thrilled that our first child is coming to us through adoption? More than I can ever express! I no longer cry each month that I am not pregnant. I do cry, but it's because adoption is HARD WORK! But the tears are not tears of anger, sadness, bitterness, or jealousy. They are tears of joy, excitement, nervousness, and sometimes frustration because the process is difficult. But I have a deep contentment and joy that we are on this path! We miscarried a baby right after we got married, and it still hurts my heart to think about. All I know right now is that if it had not happened, we would be expecting a baby any day now, which would be wonderful. However we wouldn't be pursing adoption. I am not grateful for a miscarriage. I am not glad it happened. However, I am so grateful and glad that through that heartbreak, God brought us here! I'm clinging to the story of Hannah, and I'm clinging to God's goodness and faithfulness.
1 Samuel 1:1-2:11 (But I'd encourage you to read past this point to see all that Samuel becomes!)
Allow me to give you a very quick summary of Hannah's story.
1. Hannah was married to Elkanah, but she was barren.
2. Hannah wanted a son desperately, so she fervently prayed to God and begged Him for a son and promised to give the child back to God.
3. God gave Hannah a son, and she named him Samuel.
4. Hannah gave Samuel back to God when he was still a child and left him at the house of the Lord.
Now that you've been reminded of the basics of the story, here are some of my takeaways. I have read this story MANY times. There's no telling, but it's definitely the passage I've read the most, but every single time I read it, God reveals something new to me! (Because God's just good like that!)
Hannah's Barrenness
Here's the thing I didn't mention in my summary. Hannah's husband had another wife, Peninnah, who had children. Hannah knew she could not have children, and she struggled with this. She wanted a child so badly. Not only did she struggle with infertility, but her husband's other wife had plenty of children. And not only did Peninnah have multiple kids, but my version of the Bible said she "provoked" Hannah. In other words, Peninnah was awful. She knew Hannah couldn't conceive, and she took every chance she got to brag about how many children she had. So Hannah is already so upset because she can't have a child, but there's added heartbreak because ANOTHER WOMAN is providing HER HUSBAND with children! Giving her husband what she cannot. And then bragging about it. (Seriously, I can't stand Peninnah!) Here's the amazing part, though! Elkanah, the husband, loved HANNAH MORE! 1 Samuel 1:5 says so! (Take that, Peninnah!) Hannah wept because she wanted a baby so badly, and Elkanah asked her, "Am I not better to you than 10 sons?" Poor Elkanah, he just didn't get it!
Infertility is so hard. I have not actually been diagnosed with fertility problems. I'm not prepared for that. Maybe one day, we'll seek testing and treatment, but for now focusing on adoption is all I want! So while I have no medical diagnosis, all I know is I'm not pregnant. I do understand Hannah's desire for a child. I do understand what it's like to hope and pray month after month for a second pink line on a plastic stick. (I mean, I know Hannah didn't have pregnancy tests, but you get the point.) I understand Hannah's heart.
Now, thankfully in modern day, it's illegal to have more than one spouse, so I cannot relate to her husband's other wife having loads of kids and bragging nonstop. What I CAN relate to is watching friends and family make pregnancy announcements and having to force a smile and a congratulations while doing my best to force back the tears. Oh, I understand. I understand the why not me moments and the why them moments. I understand holding a loved one's newborn and telling them how happy you are for them but staring at that baby just wondering when it will ever happen for you. It makes you feel terrible. You're genuinely happy for those having babies, but the jealousy is REAL. And it can be an ugly thing.
As far as Elkanah asking Hannah if he's enough for her...oh Elkanah. It's not a matter of enough or better than 10 sons. It's a matter of a desire deep within Hannah's heart to be a mother. I have not had this happen with Austin. He has never said anything like this. In fact, I asked him the other day if we had decided to pursue fertility testing and treatments instead of adoption and were told it was never going to happen for us, would he have been okay with it just being the two of us forever. He said, "I think I would have suggested adoption." I didn't take his answer as saying, "You're not enough for me." I took it as my husband has the same deep desire to be a parent as I do. When the Lord has embedded something within you, I believe He will fulfill it one way or another. For Elkanah, he already had children with Peninnah. I know he would have loved to have children with Hannah too, but he had what Hannah wanted already. He just didn't understand.
Hannah's Prayer Life
Listen, I know I've already spoiled the ending by telling you that Hannah does end up having a son, which is obviously an amazing miracle, but Hannah's prayer at the taberncale NEEDS to be noted! It's one of my favorite parts of the story! 1 Samuel 1:10 says, "And she was in bitterness of soul and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish." A few verses later, it says that Hannah was not praying aloud, but her lips were moving, and she was sobbing. The priest, Eli, saw her and thought she was DRUNK! She explained to Eli that she had not been drinking, but that she "poured out her soul before the Lord." Then when she left, the Bible says her face was no longer sad.
There's just so much here. First of all, I don't know that I've ever prayed in a manner that caused anyone to think I was drunk! Yes, I have prayed through sobs to God, but I think Hannah was praying on a whole different level. She was in bitterness of soul and prayed and wept in anguish. She held NOTHING back. I believe she was praying BOLDLY. She begged God for a son and promised to give him back all the days of his life. She was not trying to bargain with God. She wasn't saying, "If you do this, I'll do this." She was telling God that the reason she wanted a son was to raise him for the Lord. Her entire purpose for wanting to become a mother was to bring honor and glory to God. Her heart was pure, and she spoke to God passionately. She did not whine to God and ask, "Why can't I have a baby?" (Which I have totally done. Many times.) I believe the reason she was praying so fervently was because she understood WHO she was praying to. She understand that God is able. She understood that God COULD make it happen. It wasn't a wish. It was fact. God could (and can) make a barren woman conceive a child. God can handle our deepest emotions, desires, disappointments, anger...HE CAN HANDLE IT! And Hannah knew that.
Hannah's Miracle
She had a baby! She prayed and believed that God would fulfill the desire which He had placed in her heart, and she had a baby boy. She named him Samuel, "Because I have asked for him from the Lord." I just can't imagine her excitement, happiness, and joy when she found out she was expecting. I wish I could have seen the look on her face when she held Samuel for the first time!
Here's the thing. Hannah's miracle does not happen for everyone. There are people who long to be parents. They pray and pray and try and try and go through treatment after treatment. Thousands of dollars are spent. Countless pregnancy tests. And it never happens. Does this mean they're praying wrong or that God loves them less or that God is not as faithful. NO. Absolutely not. It's hard to understand why God allows some to have biological children on their own with ease, while some must undergo treatments and years of waiting and hoping before finally conceiving, and then others try and try and try but never have biological children. I don't know why. All I can do is believe that God is good, and He is sovereign above all things. I know some people were meant to become parents through foster and/or adoption. Some are meant to be like parents to nieces, nephews, friends' children, church children, school children, etc. I believe that God will provide a peace that passes all understanding if we trust in Him.
Hannah's Faithfulness and Praise
Hannah made a vow to God that she would give her son back to him, and she meant it. So when Samuel was still very young, and she was finished nursing him, she took him back to the house of the Lord. She saw good old Eli who previously thought she had been drunk while praying, and she told Eli who she was. This is where a very well known verse comes from. She told Eli, "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him." Then she told Eli she was giving Samuel back to God. She prayed again, but this time it wasn't out of anguish and bitterness. It was out of thankfulness and praise to God! Then they left, but Samuel stayed with Eli, where he learned from Eli and ministered there.
Okay, Hannah sounds crazy. She prayed and prayed and prayed for a son. She had the son. And she gave the son away. Confusing? It could be. But this brings me back to my point earlier. Her entire purpose for wanting to become a mother was to bring honor and glory to God. She desperately wanted Samuel FOR THIS REASON! She didn't dream of taking Samuel to tee-ball practice, reading him bedtime stories, and all the baby snuggles. She dreamed of having a child who would grow up to honor the Lord. That's it. Period. So when he was old enough, she kept her vow. Hannah would come and visit Samuel, but she didn't view Samuel as hers, but as God's.
So, I do dream of tee-ball practice, bedtime stories, and snuggles. However, I also dream of teaching our child Bible stories, praying with him or her, sobbing when he/she accepts Jesus as their Savior, and sending our child on church mission trips. I want to be the mom who goes to sporting events, has movie nights, and makes tons of memories, but I also want to be the mom who leads her children to the Lord. I love Hannah's example!
Samuel
Samuel grows up to be a great man of God. He becomes a prophet and a judge, and he was one of the most obedient and faithful of the The Old Testament, and it all started with his mother's bold prayers and faithful heart. Hannah intended to have a son who would serve God, and that's exactly what happened. See, GOD HAS A PLAN ALWAYS! It may not make sense at the time, but our lives are puzzle pieces part of God's greater picture, and He will complete them in His timing and will.
Hannah's story is so powerful. It can be used as a lesson on prayer, faithfulness, and obedience. Hannah is so relatable. From that nasty Peninnah to her husband who loved her but just didn't understand to her honest and passionate prayer...I'm just a Hannah fan. I have prayed countless prayers begging God to PLEASE give us a baby. Shortly after we decided to pursue adoption, I realized my prayers had not been for pregnancy, but for a baby. God meant for us to adopt our whole lives. We just didn't know! We thought our family would begin through a biological child, but it won't. And as I mentioned before, God truly does provide a peace that passes all understanding when you choose to trust Him alone. Do I hope to one day have a biological child? Yes! Very much so! Am I beyond thrilled that our first child is coming to us through adoption? More than I can ever express! I no longer cry each month that I am not pregnant. I do cry, but it's because adoption is HARD WORK! But the tears are not tears of anger, sadness, bitterness, or jealousy. They are tears of joy, excitement, nervousness, and sometimes frustration because the process is difficult. But I have a deep contentment and joy that we are on this path! We miscarried a baby right after we got married, and it still hurts my heart to think about. All I know right now is that if it had not happened, we would be expecting a baby any day now, which would be wonderful. However we wouldn't be pursing adoption. I am not grateful for a miscarriage. I am not glad it happened. However, I am so grateful and glad that through that heartbreak, God brought us here! I'm clinging to the story of Hannah, and I'm clinging to God's goodness and faithfulness.
1 Samuel 1:1-2:11 (But I'd encourage you to read past this point to see all that Samuel becomes!)
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
"It's Getting Real Now, Isn't It?!"
I spent some time this morning on the phone with an adoption specialist from our agency. She was walking me through the matching process and telling me what to expect. I had a lot of questions for her. At one point in the conversation, I was so tongue tied and couldn't get the right words out to ask my next question. I said, "I'm sorry. I'm not finding the right words." The sweet lady on the other end of the phone laughed and said, "It's getting real now, isn't it?"
YES! So real! Unbelievably and overwhelmingly REAL!
The way the matching process will work is that we will receive birth mother profiles via email as the agency receives them. The profiles will just be facts about the expectant mother and the baby. We'll find out the birth mom's first name, race, race of birth father, gender of baby if known, any known medical conditions that could affect the baby, and any drug use in the expectant mother. (There could be NO medical or drug information, but the agency will tell us any pertinent information that could affect the child's health.) We can spend a little time discussing the information we receive. Then we can decide if we want to be considered by that birth mother or not. If we say no, no big deal. They will send another profile when they get one. If we say yes, they will present our adoption profile to the birth mother.
At this point, the birth mother could have a few profiles to view. She will make a decision, and from there we could meet her, or not. It's all a case-by-case situation.
The agency does not begin matching birth mothers with families until they are at least 20 weeks pregnant. In other words, when we are matched, we will only have a MAXIMUM of 20 weeks until the baby is born! It could be much less! Once a match occurs, things happen quickly! She could be 20 weeks, or she could be 39 weeks! There's no telling!
The conversation I had with the adoption specialist was wonderful! It was exciting, and I hung up the phone and was filled with hope! Within the next couple of weeks, we will begin receiving profiles. We COULD match within the next month or less! Or we could match a year from now! (Honestly, I think it's going to be a lot sooner than a year, but only the Lord knows the timeline!) After the call ended, I immediately called Austin to tell him every detail! We're ecstatic!
I'm not going to lie, as excited as I am about potentially matching soon, I'm also nervous! My head is spinning! I keep thinking, "What if we match with someone next week and they're due a week later?" We have NOTHING for a baby! No car seat. No crib or baby bed of any kind. No baby clothes. No diapers. NOTHING!!! If we match and still have several weeks before the baby is due, we'll have some time to prepare, but what if it happens suddenly?! How much time will I be able to take off work? Surely not the typical 6 weeks that other mothers receive. Typically day cares won't take a baby until they are at least 6 weeks old. What if I can only take off 3 weeks? What will we do? Who will watch the baby during the day? What day care will we use after that? It's all SO CRAZY! I have answers to none of these questions. I work for a wonderful school district, and I know they will do what they can to help me with time off. We have the most amazing family, and I will never have to worry about having a plethora of babysitters! Not only do we have wonderful family, but incredible friends as well. If an emergency placement happens, which I honestly don't expect, but if it does, we have a village of loved ones who will be beating down our door to help us supply baby clothes, diapers, etc. I'm a thousand percent confident that no matter HOW it happens, it WILL happen, and it WILL be wonderful!
Here's what we need! PRAYER! Please, please, please PRAY for the birth mother who will choose us. Pray for her health and choices, and pray for the baby's health. Pray for wisdom for Austin and myself as we look through birth mother profiles of information. Pray that we make wise choices about who will be the right fit for us. Pray for our nerves, especially mine! That police officer of mine is so calm all the time, but I'm a worrier! Just PRAY! It's powerful!
We are so excited and nervous all at the same time! The unknowns are huge, but we have complete and total trust in God's perfect will and timing!
YES! So real! Unbelievably and overwhelmingly REAL!
The way the matching process will work is that we will receive birth mother profiles via email as the agency receives them. The profiles will just be facts about the expectant mother and the baby. We'll find out the birth mom's first name, race, race of birth father, gender of baby if known, any known medical conditions that could affect the baby, and any drug use in the expectant mother. (There could be NO medical or drug information, but the agency will tell us any pertinent information that could affect the child's health.) We can spend a little time discussing the information we receive. Then we can decide if we want to be considered by that birth mother or not. If we say no, no big deal. They will send another profile when they get one. If we say yes, they will present our adoption profile to the birth mother.
At this point, the birth mother could have a few profiles to view. She will make a decision, and from there we could meet her, or not. It's all a case-by-case situation.
The agency does not begin matching birth mothers with families until they are at least 20 weeks pregnant. In other words, when we are matched, we will only have a MAXIMUM of 20 weeks until the baby is born! It could be much less! Once a match occurs, things happen quickly! She could be 20 weeks, or she could be 39 weeks! There's no telling!
The conversation I had with the adoption specialist was wonderful! It was exciting, and I hung up the phone and was filled with hope! Within the next couple of weeks, we will begin receiving profiles. We COULD match within the next month or less! Or we could match a year from now! (Honestly, I think it's going to be a lot sooner than a year, but only the Lord knows the timeline!) After the call ended, I immediately called Austin to tell him every detail! We're ecstatic!
I'm not going to lie, as excited as I am about potentially matching soon, I'm also nervous! My head is spinning! I keep thinking, "What if we match with someone next week and they're due a week later?" We have NOTHING for a baby! No car seat. No crib or baby bed of any kind. No baby clothes. No diapers. NOTHING!!! If we match and still have several weeks before the baby is due, we'll have some time to prepare, but what if it happens suddenly?! How much time will I be able to take off work? Surely not the typical 6 weeks that other mothers receive. Typically day cares won't take a baby until they are at least 6 weeks old. What if I can only take off 3 weeks? What will we do? Who will watch the baby during the day? What day care will we use after that? It's all SO CRAZY! I have answers to none of these questions. I work for a wonderful school district, and I know they will do what they can to help me with time off. We have the most amazing family, and I will never have to worry about having a plethora of babysitters! Not only do we have wonderful family, but incredible friends as well. If an emergency placement happens, which I honestly don't expect, but if it does, we have a village of loved ones who will be beating down our door to help us supply baby clothes, diapers, etc. I'm a thousand percent confident that no matter HOW it happens, it WILL happen, and it WILL be wonderful!
Here's what we need! PRAYER! Please, please, please PRAY for the birth mother who will choose us. Pray for her health and choices, and pray for the baby's health. Pray for wisdom for Austin and myself as we look through birth mother profiles of information. Pray that we make wise choices about who will be the right fit for us. Pray for our nerves, especially mine! That police officer of mine is so calm all the time, but I'm a worrier! Just PRAY! It's powerful!
We are so excited and nervous all at the same time! The unknowns are huge, but we have complete and total trust in God's perfect will and timing!
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Adoption Profile!
After more than two months of working to get to this point, here we are! We are featured as a waiting family on our agency's website!! I'm providing a link here!
https://www.texasadoptioncenterfamilies.org/whitney-austin-adopt
I am fully aware that this is just words and photos on a screen. A ton of people may see it, or no one could see it. It could help bring us our baby, or not. Who knows! But this feels like a giant step forward! When I received the email today saying our site was up, I was just over the moon excited!
Let me explain what was involved in this process!
The agency told us we needed a profile book. The book will be shown to expectant mothers so they can see a glimpse into our lives and learn a little bit about us. This is our first impression! The agency recommended that we use Mixbook to create the book. (Or we could pay about $800 or more to have a professional do it for us. Um, no thank you!)
Texas Adoption Center has a section on their website where they showcase their waiting families' profiles. I began looking through these profiles. I was incredibly overwhelmed by this! Every profile had some similarities, but there were many differences. I had no idea where to start. I just kept looking at other profiles for insight and ideas.
I used Mixbook to make our guest sign in book for our wedding, but that was a cinch! I just uploaded photos, and I was done! I started a book on Mixbook and just got busy! I tried to tell our story as best as possible. I love color and emotion, and our book is definitely full of both! I finished the profile, ordered a book, requested a PDF, and sent it to the agency.
After our home study was finalized, the agency asked if we wanted to be featured on their website, and I said of course! The sweet lady I had been working with through it all up to this point got me in contact with someone else who manages the website. This person sent us a form to fill out with additional information. I wrote more about us, chose a bunch of pictures, added captions, and sent everything back. She worked quickly, and the next day, TODAY, I got an email from the woman with a link to our online profile! Ahhhhh!
I looked through it, and it's just perfect! I truly believe it shows who we are and how much we long for a sweet child!
It was so amazing to look at the waiting families section of the agency's website and see US! Right there by the others I used for guidance while making our book. We're out there now! Anyone can see our page and learn about us! They can see photos of us with our loved ones. They can read about how much we want to have a child. They can read about how desperately we pray for the woman who will give us her child.
It's so exciting, and it just got SO REAL! One step closer, Baby Starkey, one step closer!
https://www.texasadoptioncenterfamilies.org/whitney-austin-adopt
I am fully aware that this is just words and photos on a screen. A ton of people may see it, or no one could see it. It could help bring us our baby, or not. Who knows! But this feels like a giant step forward! When I received the email today saying our site was up, I was just over the moon excited!
Let me explain what was involved in this process!
The agency told us we needed a profile book. The book will be shown to expectant mothers so they can see a glimpse into our lives and learn a little bit about us. This is our first impression! The agency recommended that we use Mixbook to create the book. (Or we could pay about $800 or more to have a professional do it for us. Um, no thank you!)
Texas Adoption Center has a section on their website where they showcase their waiting families' profiles. I began looking through these profiles. I was incredibly overwhelmed by this! Every profile had some similarities, but there were many differences. I had no idea where to start. I just kept looking at other profiles for insight and ideas.
I used Mixbook to make our guest sign in book for our wedding, but that was a cinch! I just uploaded photos, and I was done! I started a book on Mixbook and just got busy! I tried to tell our story as best as possible. I love color and emotion, and our book is definitely full of both! I finished the profile, ordered a book, requested a PDF, and sent it to the agency.
After our home study was finalized, the agency asked if we wanted to be featured on their website, and I said of course! The sweet lady I had been working with through it all up to this point got me in contact with someone else who manages the website. This person sent us a form to fill out with additional information. I wrote more about us, chose a bunch of pictures, added captions, and sent everything back. She worked quickly, and the next day, TODAY, I got an email from the woman with a link to our online profile! Ahhhhh!
I looked through it, and it's just perfect! I truly believe it shows who we are and how much we long for a sweet child!
It was so amazing to look at the waiting families section of the agency's website and see US! Right there by the others I used for guidance while making our book. We're out there now! Anyone can see our page and learn about us! They can see photos of us with our loved ones. They can read about how much we want to have a child. They can read about how desperately we pray for the woman who will give us her child.
It's so exciting, and it just got SO REAL! One step closer, Baby Starkey, one step closer!
Monday, December 17, 2018
December Fundraisers
I posted about some fundraisers at the very beginning of December, and I was honestly expecting to kind of take a break from fundraisers through the holidays...until multiple people reached out volunteering to hold some for us!
Santa Letters
Okay, I saw this idea online and didn't even consider it at first. For some reason, I just didn't think it would do well. I couldn't have been more wrong! I'm sitting here typing this on December 17th, and I have handwritten 57 letters in the past two weeks! I'm still taking letter orders for a couple of more days to ensure they arrive before Christmas, but even if I don't get anymore, I'm truly amazed! I've been selling them for $5 per letter, and they have been a hit! I have also really enjoyed writing them! Each letter has been unique. No two letters were the same! It has been fun, and I'm so grateful for each person who bought a letter! (And seeing the sweet reaction from the little ones that are posted to Facebook has been THE BEST!!!) We've made nearly $250!
Babysitting
I put the babysitting offer out there for holiday babysitting. There wasn't a huge response, but we ended up with a handful of nights and several precious kids! We played with trains, decorated cookies, had tickle fights, and watched Pokemon! We made about $130 on babysitting!
Premier Jewelry
One of my old college friends, Kayla, offered to hold an online Premier Jewelry party for us, and she is donating a portion of the sales to us! This was so sweet of her! She has such a heart for Jesus, children, and others. It was so fun to see some of the GORGEOUS Premier jewelry. (Seriously, yall have to check this jewelry out! Beautiful and versatile! Contact Kayla Day!) We are making about $150! Amazing and unexpected!
Matilda Jane
Another unexpected fundraiser! My friend, Crystal, sells Matilda Jane clothing and accessories. (I honestly hadn't heard of Matilda Jane before Crystal, but apparently I'm just out of the loop because people love it! It's CUTE stuff! Precious children's clothing!) Crystal held an online party also! I don't know yet how much we'll make off this one, but every penny helps!!
Color Street
Yet again, with the surprise fundraisers! My friend, Daphne, sells Color Street nails, and she offered to hold an online party as well! If you haven't tried out Color Street nail strips, you should!! Super easy and affordable, and their are countless beautiful designs! I don't know the result of this one either yet. It was so sweet of Daphne to do this for us!
Boon Supply
This is an online shopping fundraiser. The company is SUPER easy to work with. All I have to do is share the link to shop, and we get 50% of the sales! (I love these easy fundraisers!) This site has some really neat items! Lots of tote bags, jewelry, wrapping paper, candles, candy, popcorn, and more! I have only advertised this once, and I'm not going to again until after the holidays. There's just too much going on! We have already made a little money from this one though!!
Earrings
I included this in my previous fundraiser post, but the earrings are kind of ongoing, or at least until I sell out of them! I still have over 60 pair, ranging from $5 to $8. They're super cute, and I keep taking more for myself! So far, we have made about $240 profit from the earrings, and we have A LOT more to sell!
We will keep fundraising, but we're still looking for some creative ways to do so! I would like to put together another BIG event like our auction, but probably a yard sale this time. Not 100% on that yet, but it will be in the spring if it does happen. I'm constantly working and and thinking and brainstorming and researching the best ways to afford adoption. It's just such a huge undertaking, but it's going to be beyond worth it in the end.
We are incredibly grateful to all who have bought items, donated, hosted parties, suggested fundraisers. Most importantly, thank you to everyone who has PRAYED! Prayer is the most powerful tool we have, and we know the Lord is at work!
Santa Letters
Okay, I saw this idea online and didn't even consider it at first. For some reason, I just didn't think it would do well. I couldn't have been more wrong! I'm sitting here typing this on December 17th, and I have handwritten 57 letters in the past two weeks! I'm still taking letter orders for a couple of more days to ensure they arrive before Christmas, but even if I don't get anymore, I'm truly amazed! I've been selling them for $5 per letter, and they have been a hit! I have also really enjoyed writing them! Each letter has been unique. No two letters were the same! It has been fun, and I'm so grateful for each person who bought a letter! (And seeing the sweet reaction from the little ones that are posted to Facebook has been THE BEST!!!) We've made nearly $250!
Babysitting
I put the babysitting offer out there for holiday babysitting. There wasn't a huge response, but we ended up with a handful of nights and several precious kids! We played with trains, decorated cookies, had tickle fights, and watched Pokemon! We made about $130 on babysitting!
Premier Jewelry
One of my old college friends, Kayla, offered to hold an online Premier Jewelry party for us, and she is donating a portion of the sales to us! This was so sweet of her! She has such a heart for Jesus, children, and others. It was so fun to see some of the GORGEOUS Premier jewelry. (Seriously, yall have to check this jewelry out! Beautiful and versatile! Contact Kayla Day!) We are making about $150! Amazing and unexpected!
Matilda Jane
Another unexpected fundraiser! My friend, Crystal, sells Matilda Jane clothing and accessories. (I honestly hadn't heard of Matilda Jane before Crystal, but apparently I'm just out of the loop because people love it! It's CUTE stuff! Precious children's clothing!) Crystal held an online party also! I don't know yet how much we'll make off this one, but every penny helps!!
Color Street
Yet again, with the surprise fundraisers! My friend, Daphne, sells Color Street nails, and she offered to hold an online party as well! If you haven't tried out Color Street nail strips, you should!! Super easy and affordable, and their are countless beautiful designs! I don't know the result of this one either yet. It was so sweet of Daphne to do this for us!
Boon Supply
This is an online shopping fundraiser. The company is SUPER easy to work with. All I have to do is share the link to shop, and we get 50% of the sales! (I love these easy fundraisers!) This site has some really neat items! Lots of tote bags, jewelry, wrapping paper, candles, candy, popcorn, and more! I have only advertised this once, and I'm not going to again until after the holidays. There's just too much going on! We have already made a little money from this one though!!
Earrings
I included this in my previous fundraiser post, but the earrings are kind of ongoing, or at least until I sell out of them! I still have over 60 pair, ranging from $5 to $8. They're super cute, and I keep taking more for myself! So far, we have made about $240 profit from the earrings, and we have A LOT more to sell!
We will keep fundraising, but we're still looking for some creative ways to do so! I would like to put together another BIG event like our auction, but probably a yard sale this time. Not 100% on that yet, but it will be in the spring if it does happen. I'm constantly working and and thinking and brainstorming and researching the best ways to afford adoption. It's just such a huge undertaking, but it's going to be beyond worth it in the end.
We are incredibly grateful to all who have bought items, donated, hosted parties, suggested fundraisers. Most importantly, thank you to everyone who has PRAYED! Prayer is the most powerful tool we have, and we know the Lord is at work!
Saturday, December 15, 2018
His Yoke is Easy. His Burden is Light.
This year has completely caught up to me. I'm tired.
I've said that I'm excited about a million times in the past two months. It's true! I AM EXCITED! I can't accurately describe how excited I am to one day, prayerfully soon, bring a sweet baby home. However, I don't think I've really explained that I'm also tired. Exhausted. Emotional.
Here are a few reasons why I have cried just in the past few days:
1. I watched a video of Sophie at her Christmas program from two years ago. I just couldn't believe how quickly time is flying!
2. Austin read sweet notes from some of my students.
3. I started season 6 of The Ranch. I won't spoil it, but there were some REALLY sad tears and some REALLY happy tears.
4. I thought about how badly I long to adopt and how badly I long to have a biological child. I want BOTH.
5. I was tired.
Ugghhhhh! Exhaustion intensifies ALL emotions.
I'm so tired, but I'm mostly tired of being so stinkin emotional. As I watch tv, a diaper commercial will come on. I'll see a tiny little baby with that sappy music playing and a woman smiling happily at her newborn, and I'll cry.
I'll see a tv show where a baby is born, and I'm done before it even begins! Insta-tears! I watch a woman in the show go through intense labor. She's in pain. She's exhausted. She's scared. Then she hears a little cry. Suddenly all the pain, all the worry, all the exhaustion is forgotten. She listens to the cry of her newborn child and begins asking the doctor if the baby is okay. The doctor says yes and places the little one on the new mama's chest, and that mom begins to cry. The dad is watching in awe! He's amazed at what his wife has just done. He's overcome with emotion as he looks at his child for the first time and realizes he's a dad! They both wipe tears and can't believe the gift they have just received.
And meanwhile, Whitney is on the other side of the tv screen just blubbering and praying her time will come and then looking at her husband saying, "I want a baby!"
There's truly no telling how many times this scenario has happened. Even on shows I've seen countless times. On Friends when Rachel looks at Emma for the first time and says, "I know you." Oh my gosh! Then, later in the series, when Monica looks at her newborn adopted baby boy and says, "I'm going to love you so much that no woman is ever going to be good enough for you!" I laugh and say, "That's going to be me!" And just last night, we were watching the I Love Lucy Christmas special. There is a flashback scene where Lucy tells Ricky she's going to have a baby, and Ricky sings, "We're Having a Baby, My Baby and Me." I long for these moments. Through adoption AND through biological birth. I want them both, and I pray for them both every single day.
There seems to be constantly something to do. Fix the profile book. Fill out another form. Search for different ways to raise money. Apply for grants. I am MORE than happy to do whatever it takes to bring home our sweet Baby Starkey. I'm also extremely worn out. Adoption is hard work. It's time consuming. It's expensive. It's emotional. As happy and excited as I am to be on this journey, I'm also frustrated that we aren't having a biological child, and who knows when we ever will! (Please understand, I DO NOT mean I wish we were having a biological baby INSTEAD OF adopting! I want both so badly. I can't even describe it! We could find out we're expecting today, and we would continue on our adoption journey. We could adopt a baby today, and we would continue praying for a biological baby too!)
Anyways, I've gone on far too long. There are just so many things going on. So many things to do. So many possibilities. So many fears. So many emotions. Christmas break is almost here, and it's much needed! (Thanksgiving break was completely consumed by our auction, which was FANTASTIC, but it didn't allow for much downtime at all!) This break is arriving at the perfect time, and I'm trusting in the Lord to give me rest. His Word says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."-Matthew 11:28-30
I've said that I'm excited about a million times in the past two months. It's true! I AM EXCITED! I can't accurately describe how excited I am to one day, prayerfully soon, bring a sweet baby home. However, I don't think I've really explained that I'm also tired. Exhausted. Emotional.
Here are a few reasons why I have cried just in the past few days:
1. I watched a video of Sophie at her Christmas program from two years ago. I just couldn't believe how quickly time is flying!
2. Austin read sweet notes from some of my students.
3. I started season 6 of The Ranch. I won't spoil it, but there were some REALLY sad tears and some REALLY happy tears.
4. I thought about how badly I long to adopt and how badly I long to have a biological child. I want BOTH.
5. I was tired.
Ugghhhhh! Exhaustion intensifies ALL emotions.
I'm so tired, but I'm mostly tired of being so stinkin emotional. As I watch tv, a diaper commercial will come on. I'll see a tiny little baby with that sappy music playing and a woman smiling happily at her newborn, and I'll cry.
I'll see a tv show where a baby is born, and I'm done before it even begins! Insta-tears! I watch a woman in the show go through intense labor. She's in pain. She's exhausted. She's scared. Then she hears a little cry. Suddenly all the pain, all the worry, all the exhaustion is forgotten. She listens to the cry of her newborn child and begins asking the doctor if the baby is okay. The doctor says yes and places the little one on the new mama's chest, and that mom begins to cry. The dad is watching in awe! He's amazed at what his wife has just done. He's overcome with emotion as he looks at his child for the first time and realizes he's a dad! They both wipe tears and can't believe the gift they have just received.
And meanwhile, Whitney is on the other side of the tv screen just blubbering and praying her time will come and then looking at her husband saying, "I want a baby!"
There's truly no telling how many times this scenario has happened. Even on shows I've seen countless times. On Friends when Rachel looks at Emma for the first time and says, "I know you." Oh my gosh! Then, later in the series, when Monica looks at her newborn adopted baby boy and says, "I'm going to love you so much that no woman is ever going to be good enough for you!" I laugh and say, "That's going to be me!" And just last night, we were watching the I Love Lucy Christmas special. There is a flashback scene where Lucy tells Ricky she's going to have a baby, and Ricky sings, "We're Having a Baby, My Baby and Me." I long for these moments. Through adoption AND through biological birth. I want them both, and I pray for them both every single day.
There seems to be constantly something to do. Fix the profile book. Fill out another form. Search for different ways to raise money. Apply for grants. I am MORE than happy to do whatever it takes to bring home our sweet Baby Starkey. I'm also extremely worn out. Adoption is hard work. It's time consuming. It's expensive. It's emotional. As happy and excited as I am to be on this journey, I'm also frustrated that we aren't having a biological child, and who knows when we ever will! (Please understand, I DO NOT mean I wish we were having a biological baby INSTEAD OF adopting! I want both so badly. I can't even describe it! We could find out we're expecting today, and we would continue on our adoption journey. We could adopt a baby today, and we would continue praying for a biological baby too!)
Anyways, I've gone on far too long. There are just so many things going on. So many things to do. So many possibilities. So many fears. So many emotions. Christmas break is almost here, and it's much needed! (Thanksgiving break was completely consumed by our auction, which was FANTASTIC, but it didn't allow for much downtime at all!) This break is arriving at the perfect time, and I'm trusting in the Lord to give me rest. His Word says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."-Matthew 11:28-30
ON THE LIST!! And a few updates!
Sheesh, it was a lot of work to get to this point, but we're here! I feel like we're still in a period of limbo, through.
The past few days have been a whirlwind. What I have already learned through this journey is that things can change as any moment! In my last post, I shared that our home study was complete, which was a HUGE relief! However, I also shared some hiccups with our confirmation of funds that we needed to submit in order to be added to the agency's list of waiting families. I started that day feeling excited, and by the time I left school, I was so discouraged. We had to figure out $10,000 either in cash or through a loan ASAP.
Well, I got home from school, and my sweet husband was preparing to go work an overtime job. He told me he had just finished applying for another loan, one that is specifically for adoption. Within about 15 minutes, we received an email saying we had been pre approved for a $30,000 loan through this company! (As I've said in numerous post, we are not actually PAYING anything yet. We just had to show that we have access to the full amount of funds.)
Now that we had more than enough funds to show via bank statements and loan pre approval letters, I emailed the sweet woman from the agency. I forwarded everything to her. This was about 4:50 pm, and knowing the agency would still be open for about 10 more minutes, I called! I just needed to know they received my email! (I've officially gone crazy!) The sweet lady was wonderful and said she would add us to the waiting families list THAT NIGHT! I could have screamed with excitement!
Since then, I found out we needed to make one small change to our profile book. (After we already paid for it! Ah!) Another woman from the agency emailed me with a form to fill out MORE information that will be included on the agency's website for expectant mothers to view. I got busy working on all of these things!
The work is unending it seems. There is always something. Make a profile book. Change the profile book. Collect documents upon documents. Clean like crazy people for home visit. Send more info. Interview. Fundraise. Send more info. Send more info. Send more info. Apply for grants, which require...you guessed it! MORE INFO! I may be losing my mind. I may be drained in every sense of the word. I may have gone cross eyed from the amount of time I've spent reading and researching online. It will all be more than worth it, though! When we hold a sweet baby, it will all be worth it!
The past few days have been a whirlwind. What I have already learned through this journey is that things can change as any moment! In my last post, I shared that our home study was complete, which was a HUGE relief! However, I also shared some hiccups with our confirmation of funds that we needed to submit in order to be added to the agency's list of waiting families. I started that day feeling excited, and by the time I left school, I was so discouraged. We had to figure out $10,000 either in cash or through a loan ASAP.
Well, I got home from school, and my sweet husband was preparing to go work an overtime job. He told me he had just finished applying for another loan, one that is specifically for adoption. Within about 15 minutes, we received an email saying we had been pre approved for a $30,000 loan through this company! (As I've said in numerous post, we are not actually PAYING anything yet. We just had to show that we have access to the full amount of funds.)
Now that we had more than enough funds to show via bank statements and loan pre approval letters, I emailed the sweet woman from the agency. I forwarded everything to her. This was about 4:50 pm, and knowing the agency would still be open for about 10 more minutes, I called! I just needed to know they received my email! (I've officially gone crazy!) The sweet lady was wonderful and said she would add us to the waiting families list THAT NIGHT! I could have screamed with excitement!
Since then, I found out we needed to make one small change to our profile book. (After we already paid for it! Ah!) Another woman from the agency emailed me with a form to fill out MORE information that will be included on the agency's website for expectant mothers to view. I got busy working on all of these things!
The work is unending it seems. There is always something. Make a profile book. Change the profile book. Collect documents upon documents. Clean like crazy people for home visit. Send more info. Interview. Fundraise. Send more info. Send more info. Send more info. Apply for grants, which require...you guessed it! MORE INFO! I may be losing my mind. I may be drained in every sense of the word. I may have gone cross eyed from the amount of time I've spent reading and researching online. It will all be more than worth it, though! When we hold a sweet baby, it will all be worth it!
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Home Study...COMPLETE!
I have been waiting patiently, or not so patiently, to finally be able to say that our home study is DONE!
This was a long process that we have been working on since October 2nd! (We began researching agencies in September, and we got our first email with information from Texas Adoption Center on October 2nd!) Now, on December 12, 2018, I can say that the home study is officially complete! Hallelujah!
This means a few things!
Grants-Now that we have a copy of our finalized home study, we can begin applying for adoption grants! There is a slim chance of getting each grant because SO many people apply for these, but we will do everything we can! I am about to spend all my spare time in grants upon grants upon grants!
The "List"-So we still have to submit our confirmation of funds before we can officially be on the list of waiting families. I've explained what the confirmation of funds entails in an earlier post, so I won't go into all of that again. I'll just give a quick update! We won't have to pay anything right now, but we need to show a bank statement and/or loan pre approval proving that we have access to around $40,000. We have a little less than $14,000 in savings and fundraising money, and we have a pre approval for a $15,000 loan. Sooo, that's just under $30,000. We need about $10,000 either in actual funds or pre approval, and we need it ASAP! Until we have access to the full amount, we can't be placed on their list, which means the matching process cannot begin! I woke up this morning with an extra pep in my step because I knew the home study would be finished today. During my lunch, I found out the loan amount we've been pre approved for, and my heart sank a little. I'm stressed! We are going to apply for yet another loan to hopefully make up the difference. (Again, we will not actually TAKE OUT this money until we absolutely have to when we need to make an adoption payment. We will continue fundraising and applying for grants until then.)
The final thing the completed home study means is that WE JUST GOT ONE GIANT STEP CLOSER TO BABY STARKEY!!!
We are closer, but we aren't there yet! Please pray! Pray for the final issue of the confirmation of funds to be sorted out. Pray for my heart! I'm so ready to move on to the next phase of this process, and I have been forcing back tears most of the day! Pray for the both of us as we make financial decisions that will affect our lives! Pray for wisdom to know what is best. Pray for the woman (whoever she is) who could already be pregnant with the sweet child we will adopt! Pray that the Lord comforts this woman as she makes hard choices. Pray for Baby Starkey above all! Just pray!
This was a long process that we have been working on since October 2nd! (We began researching agencies in September, and we got our first email with information from Texas Adoption Center on October 2nd!) Now, on December 12, 2018, I can say that the home study is officially complete! Hallelujah!
This means a few things!
Grants-Now that we have a copy of our finalized home study, we can begin applying for adoption grants! There is a slim chance of getting each grant because SO many people apply for these, but we will do everything we can! I am about to spend all my spare time in grants upon grants upon grants!
The "List"-So we still have to submit our confirmation of funds before we can officially be on the list of waiting families. I've explained what the confirmation of funds entails in an earlier post, so I won't go into all of that again. I'll just give a quick update! We won't have to pay anything right now, but we need to show a bank statement and/or loan pre approval proving that we have access to around $40,000. We have a little less than $14,000 in savings and fundraising money, and we have a pre approval for a $15,000 loan. Sooo, that's just under $30,000. We need about $10,000 either in actual funds or pre approval, and we need it ASAP! Until we have access to the full amount, we can't be placed on their list, which means the matching process cannot begin! I woke up this morning with an extra pep in my step because I knew the home study would be finished today. During my lunch, I found out the loan amount we've been pre approved for, and my heart sank a little. I'm stressed! We are going to apply for yet another loan to hopefully make up the difference. (Again, we will not actually TAKE OUT this money until we absolutely have to when we need to make an adoption payment. We will continue fundraising and applying for grants until then.)
The final thing the completed home study means is that WE JUST GOT ONE GIANT STEP CLOSER TO BABY STARKEY!!!
We are closer, but we aren't there yet! Please pray! Pray for the final issue of the confirmation of funds to be sorted out. Pray for my heart! I'm so ready to move on to the next phase of this process, and I have been forcing back tears most of the day! Pray for the both of us as we make financial decisions that will affect our lives! Pray for wisdom to know what is best. Pray for the woman (whoever she is) who could already be pregnant with the sweet child we will adopt! Pray that the Lord comforts this woman as she makes hard choices. Pray for Baby Starkey above all! Just pray!
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Instant Family
We saw Instant Family yesterday. I saw previews for it a couple of months ago, and then I forgot about it. Then a few weeks ago, my amazing sister-in-law, April, saw it for her birthday and recommended it! A few days later, a group of my 8th grade girls said they watched it and that I needed to. Lastly, my Nana told me some family friends saw it and said Austin and I should go!
After all of that, we decided to have a little day date yesterday! I expected to tear up, but OH MY GOSH! The floodgates opened within minutes after the movie began, and they continued until it was over!
I won’t ruin the movie for those who have not seen it, but the whole movie is about a married couple who decide to foster 3 siblings. It shows the struggles, the fears, the small victories, and ALL the emotions that can come with foster care.
We are not fostering, but I could still relate to this movie from start to finish. As I watched the couple interact with children needing a home, I couldn’t help but think of our situation. We plan to adopt a newborn. That sweet baby will not have had to go through trauma, like so many foster children have. That doesn’t make infant adoption any less important that foster care! We believe the Lord calls certain people to adopt, certain people to foster to adopt, and others to just foster. ALL are so important and needed.
Those who foster with no intention of adopting are providing a safe home to children who have clearly experienced instability of some kind. While biological parents are getting the help they need, foster parents are able to step in and love those kids. Hopefully when it’s time to go home, the biological parents have figured things out and are in a better place, and the children have been loved, taken care of, and supported.
Those who foster to adopt are opening their hearts and homes to babies, children, and/or teens who have likely experienced terrible things. Trauma. Neglect. Abuse. Drugs. There’s no telling. Fostering with intentions to adopt means making a lifelong commitment to love kids who have been broken and help them heal!
Infant adoption means you get to adopt a newborn who has no experiences yet. Good or bad. The biological parent(s), for whatever reason, know adoption will provide a life for the child that, in their current state, they cannot provide. I applaud women who place their babies for adoption, considering the fact that abortion is the EASIER, FASTER, and LESS PUBLIC option. They love that baby and value their life SO MUCH that they are willing to go through 9 months of pregnancy, labor, delivery, and ALL the emotions that come with adoption just to ensure that the child has the best life possible. Infant adoption means you get to adopt a child who could have ended up having a hard life or even ended up in foster care later anyway, and you get to provide stability and love from day one!
As I sobbed through the movie yesterday, I kept thinking about the child we will one day bring home. I wondered if it will be a boy or girl. White, black, Hispanic, Asian? What color hair and eyes? What will his or her little personality be like? What struggles will we have? We obviously have no idea about any of this, but as I watched, I felt like I had this connection to a child I've never met. A child who is not yet born. A child who may not have even been conceived yet! But yet I felt like MY BABY is just out there waiting for me! I know I sound crazy, but God has a little one planned for us, and yesterday, for the first time in my life, I felt like a MOM just waiting for her baby to come home.
Our home study should be finalized within the next week. I'm checking my email about 30 times a day for an update! As soon as that's done, we'll be on THE LIST just waiting for our own little Instant Family!
After all of that, we decided to have a little day date yesterday! I expected to tear up, but OH MY GOSH! The floodgates opened within minutes after the movie began, and they continued until it was over!
I won’t ruin the movie for those who have not seen it, but the whole movie is about a married couple who decide to foster 3 siblings. It shows the struggles, the fears, the small victories, and ALL the emotions that can come with foster care.
We are not fostering, but I could still relate to this movie from start to finish. As I watched the couple interact with children needing a home, I couldn’t help but think of our situation. We plan to adopt a newborn. That sweet baby will not have had to go through trauma, like so many foster children have. That doesn’t make infant adoption any less important that foster care! We believe the Lord calls certain people to adopt, certain people to foster to adopt, and others to just foster. ALL are so important and needed.
Those who foster with no intention of adopting are providing a safe home to children who have clearly experienced instability of some kind. While biological parents are getting the help they need, foster parents are able to step in and love those kids. Hopefully when it’s time to go home, the biological parents have figured things out and are in a better place, and the children have been loved, taken care of, and supported.
Those who foster to adopt are opening their hearts and homes to babies, children, and/or teens who have likely experienced terrible things. Trauma. Neglect. Abuse. Drugs. There’s no telling. Fostering with intentions to adopt means making a lifelong commitment to love kids who have been broken and help them heal!
Infant adoption means you get to adopt a newborn who has no experiences yet. Good or bad. The biological parent(s), for whatever reason, know adoption will provide a life for the child that, in their current state, they cannot provide. I applaud women who place their babies for adoption, considering the fact that abortion is the EASIER, FASTER, and LESS PUBLIC option. They love that baby and value their life SO MUCH that they are willing to go through 9 months of pregnancy, labor, delivery, and ALL the emotions that come with adoption just to ensure that the child has the best life possible. Infant adoption means you get to adopt a child who could have ended up having a hard life or even ended up in foster care later anyway, and you get to provide stability and love from day one!
As I sobbed through the movie yesterday, I kept thinking about the child we will one day bring home. I wondered if it will be a boy or girl. White, black, Hispanic, Asian? What color hair and eyes? What will his or her little personality be like? What struggles will we have? We obviously have no idea about any of this, but as I watched, I felt like I had this connection to a child I've never met. A child who is not yet born. A child who may not have even been conceived yet! But yet I felt like MY BABY is just out there waiting for me! I know I sound crazy, but God has a little one planned for us, and yesterday, for the first time in my life, I felt like a MOM just waiting for her baby to come home.
Our home study should be finalized within the next week. I'm checking my email about 30 times a day for an update! As soon as that's done, we'll be on THE LIST just waiting for our own little Instant Family!
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
Grants
Did you know there are about 8 gazillion adoption grants out there? Me neither!
I had no idea before we started this adoption process that adoption grants were even a thing. However, they are, and there are a ton of them! It sounds fabulous, but each grant is SO specific, and you have to meet certain requirements to be considered. I've been doing so much research on grants, and they are kind of making me head spin.
Two Grant Types:
Regular Straightforward Grant-This is what most people are familiar with. You apply, and if you're accepted, you get money that you don't have to pay back! I mean, it doesn't get much better than free money! However, these are extremely difficult to obtain. There are so many people who apply for these grants, so chances of getting them are slim.
Matching Grant-This is where an organization agrees to match donations up to a certain amount. Most that I've seen are around $2,000-$3,000. For example, if we were approved for a $3,000 matching grant, people could donate to a fund for us through the organization, and any money that is raised will be matched by the organization up to $3,000. If we get $1,000 in donations, they only match $1,000. If we get $4,000 in donations, they still only match $3,000 of it.
I've found lists of grants, but not all of them are even possible for us. There are international adoption grants, domestic adoption grants, foster to adopt grants, home study grants, Christian adoption grants, Jewish adoption grants, infertility adoption grants, adoption travel grants, Texas adoption grants, single parent adoption grants, special needs adoption grants, biracial adoption grants, biracial/special needs adoption grants, income based adoption grants, merit based adoption grants....you get the point! There's sooooo many!
Once our home study is finalized, which should be withing the next week or two, you can probably guess how I'll be spending all my spare time! Thankfully the home study should be finished just in time for Christmas break, so I will have plenty of time to focus on grant applications! Prayers for this entire process are greatly appreciated!
I had no idea before we started this adoption process that adoption grants were even a thing. However, they are, and there are a ton of them! It sounds fabulous, but each grant is SO specific, and you have to meet certain requirements to be considered. I've been doing so much research on grants, and they are kind of making me head spin.
Two Grant Types:
Regular Straightforward Grant-This is what most people are familiar with. You apply, and if you're accepted, you get money that you don't have to pay back! I mean, it doesn't get much better than free money! However, these are extremely difficult to obtain. There are so many people who apply for these grants, so chances of getting them are slim.
Matching Grant-This is where an organization agrees to match donations up to a certain amount. Most that I've seen are around $2,000-$3,000. For example, if we were approved for a $3,000 matching grant, people could donate to a fund for us through the organization, and any money that is raised will be matched by the organization up to $3,000. If we get $1,000 in donations, they only match $1,000. If we get $4,000 in donations, they still only match $3,000 of it.
I've found lists of grants, but not all of them are even possible for us. There are international adoption grants, domestic adoption grants, foster to adopt grants, home study grants, Christian adoption grants, Jewish adoption grants, infertility adoption grants, adoption travel grants, Texas adoption grants, single parent adoption grants, special needs adoption grants, biracial adoption grants, biracial/special needs adoption grants, income based adoption grants, merit based adoption grants....you get the point! There's sooooo many!
Once our home study is finalized, which should be withing the next week or two, you can probably guess how I'll be spending all my spare time! Thankfully the home study should be finished just in time for Christmas break, so I will have plenty of time to focus on grant applications! Prayers for this entire process are greatly appreciated!
Monday, December 3, 2018
All The Heart Eyes For Baby Starkey's Dad!
Okay, so I know I sound like a middle school girl, but I'm surrounded by middle school girls every day, so I can't help it!
For those unfamiliar with emoji talk, "heart eyes" is the emoji that literally has hearts for eyes!
😍
Baby Starkey is going to have THE BEST dad ever! Allow me to explain why!
1. Austin loves God first! Ever since we met, I've been able to see the love of Jesus within him. We strive to have a biblical marriage, and Austin does an incredible job as the spiritual leader of our home. He prays with and for me and our future child/children. He seeks to honor the Lord in everything he does.
2. Austin loves me well. Oh my goodness, his heart is so good. He wants me to be happy and taken care of, and I feel so undeserving of him! I know he's going to show a son how to treat women and a daughter what to look for in a man all in how he treats their mama!
3. He is amazing with kids! Watching him with little ones melts my heart! Listen, I've always said I wanted a bunch of little boys, but I'm just a pile of goo when I see Austin's interactions with little girls! He's a hero to our nieces, and Sophie has said many times, "I'm going to marry a boy like Austin when I grow up!" I pray she does! No matter the gender, Austin is going to love Baby Starkey fiercely!
4. He works HARD! Everyone knows, I'm married to a police officer. He works long hours, many holidays, every other weekend, some days, some nights, and sometimes later than expected. I'm so proud of who he is and what he does. In addition to his regular shifts, Austin works A TON of overtime. He has worked quite a bit of overtime since I've known him, but the past couple of months since we made the decision to adopt, he has worked a lot more. It has become a rarity for him to have a day completely off. There are some days when he gets off from his regular shift and heads straight to an overtime job. On days when he should be off and resting, he's waking up early to work more! He does all of this and still manages to make plenty of time for us, go to church, and spend time with family. He's doing all of this to bring us closer to our sweet baby and all of our other life goals!
So needless to say, I'd send him all the heart eyes in the world if I could! I married such a good man, and I can never thank God enough for preparing Austin just for me. Our sweet baby is going to be infinitely blessed by his/her daddy! I absolutely cannot wait to watch Austin snuggling with a newborn, tickling a toddler, rough housing with a little kid, teaching a teenager to drive, forcing back tears at a graduation, walking a daughter down the aisle...okay, I'm stopping before the tears start. The bottom line is that I have the best possible partner in this journey! My husband is my best friend, and God made him to be a dad!
For those unfamiliar with emoji talk, "heart eyes" is the emoji that literally has hearts for eyes!
😍
Baby Starkey is going to have THE BEST dad ever! Allow me to explain why!
1. Austin loves God first! Ever since we met, I've been able to see the love of Jesus within him. We strive to have a biblical marriage, and Austin does an incredible job as the spiritual leader of our home. He prays with and for me and our future child/children. He seeks to honor the Lord in everything he does.
2. Austin loves me well. Oh my goodness, his heart is so good. He wants me to be happy and taken care of, and I feel so undeserving of him! I know he's going to show a son how to treat women and a daughter what to look for in a man all in how he treats their mama!
3. He is amazing with kids! Watching him with little ones melts my heart! Listen, I've always said I wanted a bunch of little boys, but I'm just a pile of goo when I see Austin's interactions with little girls! He's a hero to our nieces, and Sophie has said many times, "I'm going to marry a boy like Austin when I grow up!" I pray she does! No matter the gender, Austin is going to love Baby Starkey fiercely!
4. He works HARD! Everyone knows, I'm married to a police officer. He works long hours, many holidays, every other weekend, some days, some nights, and sometimes later than expected. I'm so proud of who he is and what he does. In addition to his regular shifts, Austin works A TON of overtime. He has worked quite a bit of overtime since I've known him, but the past couple of months since we made the decision to adopt, he has worked a lot more. It has become a rarity for him to have a day completely off. There are some days when he gets off from his regular shift and heads straight to an overtime job. On days when he should be off and resting, he's waking up early to work more! He does all of this and still manages to make plenty of time for us, go to church, and spend time with family. He's doing all of this to bring us closer to our sweet baby and all of our other life goals!
So needless to say, I'd send him all the heart eyes in the world if I could! I married such a good man, and I can never thank God enough for preparing Austin just for me. Our sweet baby is going to be infinitely blessed by his/her daddy! I absolutely cannot wait to watch Austin snuggling with a newborn, tickling a toddler, rough housing with a little kid, teaching a teenager to drive, forcing back tears at a graduation, walking a daughter down the aisle...okay, I'm stopping before the tears start. The bottom line is that I have the best possible partner in this journey! My husband is my best friend, and God made him to be a dad!
Sunday, December 2, 2018
I Cried A Few Nights Ago
There was no big reason for the tears, but they came anyway.
As I've mentioned in an earlier post, in order to be added to our agency's list of waiting families after the home study is finalized, we must provide a confirmation of funds.
Let me explain how the payment system works with our agency. Every agency does things a little differently.
Application & Home Study Fees-This is paid at the very beginning. In order to even begin the home study, we must pay this. Altogether, that is about $2,300. We are past this step.
Confirmation of Funds-Our agency needs a bank statement or letter of pre-approval for a loan showing we will be able to pay the adoption fees throughout the rest of the process. We understand the need for this. This is a VERY costly venture, so why would the agency go through the entire process with us only to find out at the last minute that we're unable to pay? We must show the confirmation of funds when the home study is finalized, or we cannot be placed on their list of waiting families. (We must be able to show that we have access to around $40,000.)
Fees at Match-Our agency provided a table of a breakdown of average costs. Every single case is different, so our costs could be a little more or a little less. For those who don't know adoption lingo, because I certainly didn't before a couple of months ago, match is when we are matched with an expectant mother. There's more to it than this, but basically the agency reviews preferences of both hopeful adoptive families and expectant mothers. They provide the expectant mother with profile books where she can learn more about the families. She can choose to meet some. Then if the adoptive family and the expectant mother feel comfortable moving forward, it's considered a match. Within a few days of the official match, a large chunk of fees is due. On average, this amount through our agency is around $17,000. (Also, on average it takes about 6 months to be matched with our agency. Could be more or less!)
Fees at Placement-Placement is when the baby is born and the birth mother signs over her rights. The child is placed with the adoptive parents. (However, the adoption will not be finalized for several months after the birth, BUT we will be the legal guardians until then.) An even larger chunk of fees is due at placement, within days after the baby is born. On average, this amount through our agency is around $22,000. (The time between match and placement all depends on how far along the expectant mother is in her pregnancy. Obviously, the further along she is, the shorter amount of time we will wait!)
Our home study is just weeks away from being finalized, which means that confirmation of funds is needed quickly. We've discussed applying for a loan and submitting the pre-approval letter, which is what we're going to do. However, a few nights ago we were talking about how the loan will even work. The pre-approval will only be good for 30 days, and unless we're matched SUPER fast, we won't need it for a few months. We have over $12,000 through our personal adoption savings, fundraisers, and donations, which is AMAZING, but we're still a long way from what we'll need. A loan is inevitable, but we're trying to get the loan amount down as much as possible. How much will we need? Will we have to reapply later because 30 days have passed before we need it? Do we use the loan for the first big chunk so we can begin paying it off before the baby is born while we still have more wiggle room financially and hopefully pay it off faster and then use the money we have for the second big chunk when the baby is born? Or vice versa? The questions seem endless, and the answer to all of them is that we don't know!
Austin and I talked about the process, the pros and cons of different options, and I was so overwhelmed. I just couldn't stop the tears. It's all SO HARD. We are beyond grateful for every bit of help we've received so far! It's incredible! To have raised and saved over $12,000 within 2 months or so is unbelievable! Knowing this is going to cost us about $28,000 more than what we currently have is so hard to fathom! All of our extra money is going toward adoption. Austin is working so much overtime. He very rarely has a day completely off anymore. I'm constantly researching adoption fundraisers and grants. I'm trying to find ways to raise money without constantly asking our family and friends to give! I hate it! When I've been asked what I want for Christmas, my answer has consistently been adoption money! And I mean it!
I pray that sweet baby we bring home one day never questions just how wanted he/she is! We are fighting for this little life! We are working, sacrificing, fundraising, researching, and doing anything we can to not only bring him/her home, but to ensure that we aren't so loaded down in adoption debt that we can't give him/her the life they deserve! We want to put our child in sports and other activities. We want to be able to go new school clothes shopping with ease each August. We want to be able to splurge a little on Christmas. We want to make memories on family vacations. We want to save for college. We want to teach our child/children how to budget and tithe and make wise financial decisions that will honor God. This is why we are working so hard to limit the potential debt as much as possible!
As I've said so many times before, we're just trusting God and His perfect will. We will never understand it all, but we trust that He is working it all for good and for His honor and glory. No one loves children like our Savior does! We fully believe He is fighting for them even more than we are.
As I've mentioned in an earlier post, in order to be added to our agency's list of waiting families after the home study is finalized, we must provide a confirmation of funds.
Let me explain how the payment system works with our agency. Every agency does things a little differently.
Application & Home Study Fees-This is paid at the very beginning. In order to even begin the home study, we must pay this. Altogether, that is about $2,300. We are past this step.
Confirmation of Funds-Our agency needs a bank statement or letter of pre-approval for a loan showing we will be able to pay the adoption fees throughout the rest of the process. We understand the need for this. This is a VERY costly venture, so why would the agency go through the entire process with us only to find out at the last minute that we're unable to pay? We must show the confirmation of funds when the home study is finalized, or we cannot be placed on their list of waiting families. (We must be able to show that we have access to around $40,000.)
Fees at Match-Our agency provided a table of a breakdown of average costs. Every single case is different, so our costs could be a little more or a little less. For those who don't know adoption lingo, because I certainly didn't before a couple of months ago, match is when we are matched with an expectant mother. There's more to it than this, but basically the agency reviews preferences of both hopeful adoptive families and expectant mothers. They provide the expectant mother with profile books where she can learn more about the families. She can choose to meet some. Then if the adoptive family and the expectant mother feel comfortable moving forward, it's considered a match. Within a few days of the official match, a large chunk of fees is due. On average, this amount through our agency is around $17,000. (Also, on average it takes about 6 months to be matched with our agency. Could be more or less!)
Fees at Placement-Placement is when the baby is born and the birth mother signs over her rights. The child is placed with the adoptive parents. (However, the adoption will not be finalized for several months after the birth, BUT we will be the legal guardians until then.) An even larger chunk of fees is due at placement, within days after the baby is born. On average, this amount through our agency is around $22,000. (The time between match and placement all depends on how far along the expectant mother is in her pregnancy. Obviously, the further along she is, the shorter amount of time we will wait!)
Our home study is just weeks away from being finalized, which means that confirmation of funds is needed quickly. We've discussed applying for a loan and submitting the pre-approval letter, which is what we're going to do. However, a few nights ago we were talking about how the loan will even work. The pre-approval will only be good for 30 days, and unless we're matched SUPER fast, we won't need it for a few months. We have over $12,000 through our personal adoption savings, fundraisers, and donations, which is AMAZING, but we're still a long way from what we'll need. A loan is inevitable, but we're trying to get the loan amount down as much as possible. How much will we need? Will we have to reapply later because 30 days have passed before we need it? Do we use the loan for the first big chunk so we can begin paying it off before the baby is born while we still have more wiggle room financially and hopefully pay it off faster and then use the money we have for the second big chunk when the baby is born? Or vice versa? The questions seem endless, and the answer to all of them is that we don't know!
Austin and I talked about the process, the pros and cons of different options, and I was so overwhelmed. I just couldn't stop the tears. It's all SO HARD. We are beyond grateful for every bit of help we've received so far! It's incredible! To have raised and saved over $12,000 within 2 months or so is unbelievable! Knowing this is going to cost us about $28,000 more than what we currently have is so hard to fathom! All of our extra money is going toward adoption. Austin is working so much overtime. He very rarely has a day completely off anymore. I'm constantly researching adoption fundraisers and grants. I'm trying to find ways to raise money without constantly asking our family and friends to give! I hate it! When I've been asked what I want for Christmas, my answer has consistently been adoption money! And I mean it!
I pray that sweet baby we bring home one day never questions just how wanted he/she is! We are fighting for this little life! We are working, sacrificing, fundraising, researching, and doing anything we can to not only bring him/her home, but to ensure that we aren't so loaded down in adoption debt that we can't give him/her the life they deserve! We want to put our child in sports and other activities. We want to be able to go new school clothes shopping with ease each August. We want to be able to splurge a little on Christmas. We want to make memories on family vacations. We want to save for college. We want to teach our child/children how to budget and tithe and make wise financial decisions that will honor God. This is why we are working so hard to limit the potential debt as much as possible!
As I've said so many times before, we're just trusting God and His perfect will. We will never understand it all, but we trust that He is working it all for good and for His honor and glory. No one loves children like our Savior does! We fully believe He is fighting for them even more than we are.
Fundraisers
In the spirit of wanting to remember everything years from now, I wanted to give a little synopsis of the fundraisers we've held and currently have going on!
T-Shirts
This was our very first fundraiser. We made about $500 with t-shirts. I love our We Are The Village shirts! I was searching different adoption shirt slogans, and I kept coming back to the village concept. We truly have an incredible village of family and friends supporting us! This shirt just made sense, and they're such sweet keepsakes!
Puzzle Pieces
This is an ongoing fundraiser. Pieces are purchased for $10 each, and we'll write names of contributors on the pieces. Then we'll hang the puzzle in our baby's room as a sweet reminder of those who helped bring our missing piece home to us! So far we've raised about $400 off that one!
Auction
I explained the auction in another post. It was HUGE! We definitely did not expect it to be as successful as it was! Roughly $7,000 was raised through the auction. We were so amazed by all the donors, bidders, and supporters! It was so stinkin much work, but it was beyond worth it!
Earrings
My sister, Brooke, gave me the idea for this one. We were able to buy a bulk amount of super cute earrings, and we're selling them for $5-$8 each. This one just started, and we have A BUNCH of earrings, so this will last awhile, but it has the potential to bring us $500-$800!
We are looking for more ideas for after the new year. We want to find ways to raise money without selling things! I know that sounds weird, but I feel so bad constantly asking people on Facebook to buy things from us! haha! I've seen companies that will pay you for clothing and shoe drives and things like that. I'm doing my research into opportunities like that, and hopefully we'll find just the right thing for after the holidays settle down!
In addition to fundraisers, as soon as our home study is complete, we will begin applying for as many grants as possible. Grants are difficult to obtain, but we're doing all that we can!
T-Shirts
This was our very first fundraiser. We made about $500 with t-shirts. I love our We Are The Village shirts! I was searching different adoption shirt slogans, and I kept coming back to the village concept. We truly have an incredible village of family and friends supporting us! This shirt just made sense, and they're such sweet keepsakes!
Puzzle Pieces
This is an ongoing fundraiser. Pieces are purchased for $10 each, and we'll write names of contributors on the pieces. Then we'll hang the puzzle in our baby's room as a sweet reminder of those who helped bring our missing piece home to us! So far we've raised about $400 off that one!
Auction
I explained the auction in another post. It was HUGE! We definitely did not expect it to be as successful as it was! Roughly $7,000 was raised through the auction. We were so amazed by all the donors, bidders, and supporters! It was so stinkin much work, but it was beyond worth it!
Earrings
My sister, Brooke, gave me the idea for this one. We were able to buy a bulk amount of super cute earrings, and we're selling them for $5-$8 each. This one just started, and we have A BUNCH of earrings, so this will last awhile, but it has the potential to bring us $500-$800!
We are looking for more ideas for after the new year. We want to find ways to raise money without selling things! I know that sounds weird, but I feel so bad constantly asking people on Facebook to buy things from us! haha! I've seen companies that will pay you for clothing and shoe drives and things like that. I'm doing my research into opportunities like that, and hopefully we'll find just the right thing for after the holidays settle down!
In addition to fundraisers, as soon as our home study is complete, we will begin applying for as many grants as possible. Grants are difficult to obtain, but we're doing all that we can!
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